ds lashing out at school :-(

[mimsum]

ds 11 has a dx of tourette's, asperger's, adhd behaviours and anxiety which can be a pretty explosive cocktail at times

A couple of weeks ago he got into some argy-bargy with another boy, there was a bit of pushing and shoving and name calling, the other boy hit ds on the arm and ds lost it and kicked him hard in the stomach Sadly this is not the first time this has happened this year. His school are coming down on him hard as they say they were prepared for all the other behaviour but nothing in all the paperwork that came with him (ds is statemented) led them to believe that he could be violent and they have a zero tolerance policy towards aggression.

He's being punished for this incident (detention) and we were told that if there were any further aggressive acts before the end of term that the sanction would be more severe. Today I got an email from his LSA saying that he'd been very unsettled in lessons this morning, constantly calling out and being disruptive, then in one lesson he got cross with his best friend and thumped him on the leg. His head of year is deciding an 'appropriate sanction' ...

He loses his temper so quickly and seems to be unable to stop himself - we've had input from psychologists, psychiatrists etc and nothing seems to work consistently - I just don't know what to do to help him control his temper and I'm getting worried that he won't be able to stay at school if this continues

does anyone else have this problem??

"Today I got an email from his LSA saying that he'd been very unsettled in lessons this morning, constantly calling out and being disruptive,"

The TA/school should be dealing with this though. If he's unsettled then he will call out, but how would you know why he was if he's in school?

I;d try and speak to IPSEA ...

That must be really worrying for you. Do you think the school are being supportive?

It sounds as though the school aren't really aware of what your DSs differing issues can cause. Lashing out is really common with AS kids as they often don't know what else to do. I can imagine the mix of behaviours he has got must be quite challenging.
Surely 'sanctions' aren't the way to go - surely more support / different strategies are the starting place - with sanctions coming as a last resort.
Does he have a 'time out' place that he can go to if he is feeling stressed? I support a lad in secondary with AS & for a time we gave him a Time out card that he could use to remove himself from class if he needed some space/time to himself. he never actually needed to use it as I managed to 'defuse' potential situations.

I agree with whizzz. Have you spoken to the ed psych about it? Are they doing social stories with him?

Are they using his IEP, and is it helpful/relevant/usable?

he clearly needs more support. Is the boy who hit him also being punished?

the SENCO and some of the teachers are very supportive (plus the headteacher is on-side), however the head of year doesn't really 'get' ds and insists on implementing the school's normal behavioural strategies, which frankly don't make a scrap of difference to ds's behaviour - he's perfectly well aware of what might happen if he lashes out it's just that in the heat of the moment he can't access the info, so sanctions imo are completely useless as a deterrent ...

yes, they are using his IEP and it seems to be usable, he has 1-1 support in all his lessons bar PE, he has a circle of friends and they do social stories, he can go to learning support if he needs to, but he's not always aware of what his behaviour 'looks like' from the outside so doesn't often recognise when he needs to get out of a situation

the boy who hit him has been 'spoken to' but as far as I'm aware has had no further punishment - the head of year seems to come down much harder on ds for what in some cases seems fairly normal 11 year old behaviour

the school is not perfect, but in many ways it's a very good fit for ds - and I certainly can't think of anywhere else that would be remotely appropriate - I'm starting to have my recurrent worry that he'll end up in an EBD unit which would be the worst place for him - as well as not provide for his academic and sporting needs

am waffling now but desperately worried

All I can suggest it trying to get the school (& re inforce at home) to focus on getting him to realise more about 'what his behaviour 'looks like' from the outside' so that he can try to control it more, rather than it controlling him if you see what I mean.
Have you got an LEA specialist that can come in & advise & maybe suggest a few strategies.
I think it's also a good idea to talk to the others in his class to make them more aware of what might trigger his anxiety/behaviours & that his friends can maybe try & look out for him a bit more.

I think part of the reason I'm so worried is that he's had so much specialist input and help over the years - he's been statemented since he was 5 - and yet nothing seems to work for long. We'll have strategies suggested which seem to do the trick for a few days and then the novelty wears off and the disruptive behaviour sets in again. He had a medication review a few months ago and upping his clonidine worked for a while, but now it seems like we're back to square one. The SENCO's already talked to the other boys in his class and they are on the whole very tolerant and understanding. Maybe he's just not cut out for school at all ...

have you tried social stories or rehersal. As a nurse for PWLD and severe challenging behaviours we use them regularly with high rate of success. if you want more info get in touch

thanks Glen - we have tried social stories and rehearsal, but he's having problems putting the theory into practice - he's also exceptionally bright and can tell you exactly what appropriate behaviour for a given situation would be - however when faced with anxiety or frustration that all goes out of the window

I don't want to sound like I'm rejecting everyone's advice, but we and school have had help from all corners for years now - and all these strategies which I know work well with lots of kids have very limited success with ds - hence my extreme worry

is it when he is anxious frustrated that these go out the window?

He needs staff to be aware of his signs and some kind of get ou if he can recognise himself getting like this - some kind of time out card system.

it sounds like he is doing well otherwise.

what are the situations that stress him out, do timers help, subject end boxes, does he have any choice in the subejcts that he is studying. Do the behaviours appear more in social situation or requests to perform difficult tasks. Does he get any time at the end of the lesson if he behaves, e.g work for 20 minutes and relieve stress for 10 minutes, Am sure any teacher who could get 40 minutes work out of kids every hour would be well up for it. Have you tried any complimentary therapies for him, i.e. reflexology n stuff, wonder results. Does he recognise the signs himself prior to loosing his temper, can we teach him coping strategies when these signs and symptoms appear. What are the consequenses of his actions i.e. does he get reomved from the classroom. If so is this what he likes the consequence to be therefore are we negatively reinforcing his behaviour. Has there been any motivational assessments done on the specific behaviours lately. Sorry I asked lots of questions there