I have posted about this before but it is now crunch time to make a decision and I need advice on how to handle this…
Summary of the issue:
daughter is 13, dyslexic, about 1-2 years behind peers, interventions in mainstream school hit and miss. Daughter has low self esteem, says she feels stupid all day, hates school, lots of tears and is so distressed refuses to go around 3/4 days a month but can generally get her back in, sleeps after school as brain is so overwhelmed, homework hit and miss, mounting negatives and detentions for non completion of work/inattention, likes to fly under the radar and copies from friends etc. says she can’t understand what the teachers are telling them to do most the time, feels her dyslexia is getting worse. sendco notes that she can’t access the work leading to non engagement, says no more learning support is able to be given, however is being treated as a MH/behavioural issue so has been offered in school counselling (how about treat the cause not the symptom?!!)
she has an opportunity to go to an independent specialist dyslexia school, been for taster days, made friends, likes it, said the lessons were ‘easy’, small classes, teachers all nice and made things interesting. From our point of view it looks amazing and offers everything that she needs with a focus on nurturing and building confidence etc etc
she is refusing to go to the new school as she doesn’t want to leave her friends. She didn’t like the lunch at the new school. These are her reasons 🤷♀️
I understand friendships are important, but it’s like she’s forgotten how distressed she gets about school when she is at home. we will support her as much as possible in seeing her old friends and does a club outside of school with some.
I suspect she is scared of the unknown, despite hating her current school at least it is familiar but she won’t admit to this.
she won’t discuss the pros and cons, she says she has made her decision and that’s that.
my worries are
*work load and difficulty increasing as she heads into yr9 and beyond
*GCSE and revision increasing stress
*more days off/EBSA
*getting more behind
*confidence dropping further
*leaving school traumatised
If she stays at her current school, we can get her tutors (when she’d have head space in the week to do this I don’t know), and is she doesn’t pass her exams I know she can retake or do functional skills, do entry level quals at college etc.
I just don’t know why she wants to put herself through the suffering of staying where she is? I feel like she can’t see the big picture.
she said that if I force her to go then she would never trust me again.
how much of this should be her decision or ours as parents??
help! How do I handle this??!