Support for adult sibling with autism, ADHD and severe social anxiety

[Thrushcrossgrange]

My brother is 25. He has autism, adhd and severe social anxiety. This was diagnosed in adulthood. He struggled through school.

Since leaving school, he has not done anything. He spends all his time in his bedroom. I'm not sure what he does, but he has a computer and I guess he does gaming or chatting or something.

He really struggles to hold a conversation with anyone even his family. He is very smart and good at remembering facts. He is witty and has a great sense of humour.

I have left Home and I'm nearly 40 and have my own kids. I'm really struggling to advise my parents how to help him. He finds interactions really difficult and doesn't feel ready to do a college course or anything like that.

It's on my mind that in the Next 10 to 20 years he will be my responsibility. I want to encourage him to be able to look after himself. He is definitely physically capable but the social barriers he finds the most difficult.

can anyone help me or does anyone have any experience in living with an adult with these needs? I have advised my parents that he needs to take small steps in safe places to build his confidence but they struggle to get him to leave his room.

Any recommendations for groups or support or anything like that would be really gratefully received.

Is your DB on ADHD medication? If not, DB/parents should request a referral for this. Is he under any MH services &/or does he take any medication to help with anxiety? Again, if not, request a referral.

Has DB previously had SALT and OT assessments?

Your brother/parents can request social care assessments. An assessment of your brother’s needs for him and a carer’s assessment for DPs.

Does DB, or one of your DPs as appointee, receive PIP and UC? If not DB/DPs should apply.

You don’t have to become responsible for DB when DPs are no longer able to care for DB.

Some areas have support groups for autistic adults. Your local carer’s service might be able to signpost you.

@ChasingMoreSleep thank you so much for replying.

Yes he is medicated for adhd - although I'm not sure what type or dosage. He also recieves PIP.
as far as I know no salt or ot assessment.

Who would we request a social care assessment from - social services?

I will look into carers service for groups thank you:

I feel such pressure that one day my parents won't be here. My brother would be lost without them. My parents can't talk about it without crying but I know I need to try and get him some help, so he can make progress in his life and fulfil his potential.

DB/DPs should look at a review of his ADHD medication. They could also look at SALT and OT assessments, and UC if DB is eligible.

Yes, social care assessments would be requested from social care.

Would it help your DPs if you explained sorting more support now is the kindest thing they can do for DB. It will be much easier for him if support can be put in place now, with their help and so they can help iron out difficulties, than it would be to get to a point where it needs to be arranged with a time pressure and when DPs can’t help smooth the transition.