Potty training SEN 3 year old…help!

[PantaloonMad]

I’m sure there are tons of similar posts, but just wondering about other people’s experiences. My son just turned 3 and we don’t have a diagnosis yet but likely will be diagnosed autistic, has some (unclear) words but not talking yet and doesn’t communicate his needs with these words. I.e. he wouldn’t ask me for a drink, or snack etc. let alone tell me he needs a wee.

we tried potty training about 6 months ago with no success. Now that he’s 3 I feel like I should be trying again but I just feel so lost with it. Also I work full time and am expected to be in the office 4 days a week.

my friend (SAHP) was able to potty train her NT child in a week. I’ve looked at the ERIC website and they say to see it as a process. But how do parents working FT do this?

I know his nursery will try to help but they have lots of kids to look after and he’s the only one still in nappies.

any success stories out there?

Can DS communicate in non-verbal ways?

Is taking a week of annual leave or parental leave an option to get started?

He doesn’t sound ready. If he’s not typically developing then the fact that he’s 3 doesn’t mean you need to put yourself under any pressure just yet.
Nursery staff should know the signs of readiness.
If he is ND or has additional needs then there will be sensory needs involved as well as communication difficulties.
As a PP has said it may be easier when you have some time off.

Yes he will take my hand and lead me to things he wants so I’m hopefully we can find a way for him to say he needs the loo.
and yes I think I might need to take some holiday and/or unpaid parental leave to have a good crack at it, just worried about doing it too soon or too late! Thank you for your reply :)

It might be easier to wait until it is a little warmer. Then take some time off.

If DS hand leads, you may find if he can (and I am not saying he definitely can now) feel when he needs to go to the toilet, he might hand lead to the toilet.

If you have the space in the bathroom, when you change DS, do you do it in the bathroom? So he starts to make the connection. Would DS sit on the toilet/potty (if necessary while watching something on a tablet if you have one) before getting in the bath/shower?

Has an EHCNA been requested?

Hello. I started 'training' my autistic son at age 3 and at 5.5 he is only just out of nappies during the school day. He still doesn't have age-appropriate toileting at home, but it is much better. Yes, the toileting journey looks very different for autistic children (my older NT child also trained in about a week at 2.5 years old). Taking a week off to train my son at age 3 wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference, I'm afraid, it's a whole different ball game and largely been done on his terms. I've changed many, many poopy pants over the years.

He was in all-year-round nursery 30 hours a week, and they were supportive of nappy changing due to the obvious developmental delay. They had secured inclusion funding by age 4. Is your nursery senco collecting evidence for extra funding and potentially an ehcp further down the line?

I tried multiple approaches with my autistic non verbal DD from the age of 3 and nothing worked. We had a really good go the summer before she started school alongside nursery and in the end we had to stop as she was just not getting it. 3 months later (age 4.5) she just suddenly started using the toilet. I honestly think in hindsight she wasn’t ready before that, her interoceptive awareness wasn’t there. She was dry overnight shortly after. There was nothing I did differently, she just wasn’t ready. Please don’t feel the pressure, 3 is still very young.

My 4 year old (nearly 5) is also non-verbal and on the autistic pathway. Before he started school, he would wee on the toilet if we took him and he needed it, but number 2s he didn’t get at all. He started reception at a mainstream school in September whilst we were in the toilet training process and unfortunately he’s had to go back into pull ups because he had too many accidents.

He also hand leads us, but only for things he loves like food and drink, and playing outside. He hasn’t yet realised he needs to tell us about a toilet need.

He has a NT twin who although late to potty training, got it pretty quickly and was ready by the time school started. I wouldn’t compare your child to an NT one. ND children just have a different timetable I’m afraid and I wouldn’t stress too much about having him trained by starting school time, because it might not happen.

We put DS in pants at home and when we’re out and about with him to minimise nappy rash but we accept that he needs pull ups at school and holiday club. He’s pretty chilled and happy to go with the flow and things being different at school and a home, but all children have different needs! And ND SEN need to approach to be led by the child’s needs.