How do you cope?

[Senmum2026]

I’m a SEN mum drowning here. A 9 year old child in autistic burn out, not in school, a few health issues which may or may not be related to burn out and spends most of her time naked in her bedroom. CAHMS have said they can’t provide any support. I’m awaiting section 19 request outcome and over due final ECHP. She hasn’t had an meaningful education since the last day of March last year. Her younger sister, 6 is showing increased lack of emotional regulation and sensory issues and recluctance to attend school.

I feel like my family is falling apart around me. How do you guys deal with it because I’m not dealing with it well at the moment.

We manage because we have a lot of support in place, including EHCPs, carers and PAs. Relentless and never-ending, but worth it. That and far too much caffeine. We have a cleaner which helps too. Can you outsource anything?

When did you request s19 provision?

Have you chased the Director of Children’s Services about the breach of EHCP timescales? If you have chased and that hasn’t worked, have you sent a pre-action letter? Where are you in the process? Has all the necessary advice and information been sought?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment by the children with disabilities team for DD?

I would complain about CAMHS.

Some people find counselling &/or antidepressants helpful.

ooooo it’s really hard. I totally get it.
I eat a lot of chocolate daytime and drink wine at nighttime (so not the best answer).
We do have a cleaner once a week which is my saving grace. My standards have dropped.

I suppose if we don’t keep on going what will happen that’s my motivation but yes beyond exhausting.

Accept nothing is perfect and every one has issues. Don't compare yourself to others.

Can you outsource anything? G parents around? Dad around? Divide and conquer best way if possible.

Summer round the corner I find the weather helps massively. Even if she hasn’t had a “true education currently” or how ever you want to put it can she read? Watch documentaries etc (doesn’t always have to be a classic school education to learn). Try not to let guilt get the better of you which is extra stress. Sometimes fighting the LA and the 💩 they give isn’t always worth it. So try to think what you want before you use lots of mental energy.

Good luck it’s really hard