Child started SEMH school but not going well

[lakem]

I am just feeling so tired and stuck. My son is 9, over the past year he has gone from managing just about ok in mainstream to completely falling apart, EBSA, anxiety, self harm, aggression, suspensions and ended up at risk of permanent exclusion and attending an AP where he also struggled but built up to doing mornings. He has a diagnosis of ASD and is on the waiting list for ADHD assessment. I feel he hit burnout and became completely unable to cope in the school environment.

He has started at an SEMH school that was named on his EHCP after Christmas, so we are now in the 6th week. He is still only doing 30 mins per day at school and of this, is often in a separate room with a TA rather than mixing with the other children in the classroom. When in the class there have been several incidents where he has become upset/dysregulated and then another child has hurt him, on one occasion kicking him very badly in the head leaving a big bump. I am concerned that it is not the right environment for him as he has not been able to increase from 30 minutes or spend more time in the classroom. He is not really interacting with the other kids and says he doesn't want to make friends with them as they will hurt him. I feel he has a lot of trauma from his previous school experiences so easily goes into fight or flight when in any school environment. This has been compounded by him being hurt several times so he doesn't feel safe in the new school.

I just don't know what to do. We're appealing the EHCP but this will likely take a year to be heard. The SEMH school were the only one consulted with who said they could meet his needs. But really the needs in his EHCP are not being met as he is only there for short times and isn't really getting an education. The time he does spend there is mainly colouring and playing games. I'm not sure if I keep sending him or take him out, it's fairly early days but 6 weeks in surely he should be increasing his time a little.

We're both trying to work as well and despite understanding managers are getting to he point one of us will need to give up work. Really don't want to home educate but he is getting no education at the moment so it feels like that will be our only option. The impact on our whole family of this situation has been extreme. My husband and I are both on anti depressants as a result of the situation. It just feels like there is no end in sight and that this will be our lives forever. I would really appreciate any advice on what to do, whether to persist with the SEMH school or pull him out.

I presume section I is part of your appeal? Have you requested an expedited hearing on the basis DS isn’t in full-time education? Do you have a preferred placement in mind?

It is still very, very early days. Have you met with the school? What transition support is the school providing? In addition to DS’s 30 mins on site, has building up time off-site with school staff been considered? The LA still has a duty to ensure DS receives a suitable full-time education and anything detailed, specified and quantified in F, so you could request AP as well as part-time school until when and if the placement is secure. What provision for DS’s trauma is he receiving? Has the school tried to build up time with just one carefully selected peer at a time doing a high value activity? What is the school doing to keep DS safe?

Personally, I wouldn’t EHE. If you do, the LA has even less incentive to name your preferred placement. Although not easy, it is often easier to get support when you remain in the system. Crudely, at the moment, you are someone’s ‘problem’. If you EHE, it is easier for the LA to sweep needs under the carpet. However, if DS is unable to attend, you don’t need to force him.

Thanks so much for your reply, @ExistingonCoffee . Yes, we're appealing I (as well as B and F). We do have a preferred placement however they have said no and are full, so we need to look at other options. However their no is based on the draft EHCP which there are several issues with so I don't want to totally rule it out. I haven't requested an expedited hearing as I thought that was just for children at phase transfer so thank you for mentioning that, I will look into it. We haven't submitted the appeal documentation yet.

You are right it's early days. We've arranged a meeting for later this week. Time off site hasn't been discussed and I think they may struggle with this due to staffing but will ask. He isn't receiving any specific provision for trauma as we have struggled to get this properly assessed. The school say basically all the children there have some sort of trauma from previous school experiences so their approach takes this into account but nothing specific in EHCP around this. They have tried a couple of sessions with a peer but they didn't really interact and ended up doing different tasks in the same room. I'm going to discuss at the meeting what they're doing to keep him safe as it feels like this is not enough as he has been hurt several times even when he is with the other children so little. Staff have said the incidents have happened very quickly and they have removed the other child as quickly as they can.

I totally get your points around EHE and I would definitely prefer not to do this but I'm worried if he keeps going there and having bad experiences it will make him even worse.

You can request an expedited hearing on the basis DS is not attending school full-time.

Is your preferred placement who has said no wholly independent? If not, you don’t need an offer of a place because they can be named even if they object. Either way, it is helpful to provide them with an accurate picture. LAs are notorious for providing an inaccurate &/or incomplete picture. Make sure they have all the reports/up to date information. When you get to the WD stage, it can be useful to share that with them.

Support for DS’s trauma can be part of your appeal.

Not EHEing doesn’t mean you have to force DS to attend if he is unable to. You don’t have to.