Social skills and SEN four year old

[LightUpLavender]

My four year old boy has suspected sensory processing issues/autism (on ehcp/assessment pathway).

This looks like intense singular interests, takes a while to respond to questions and a lack of social skills. Can also look like intense emotional outbursts, with a bit of slapping or throwing - which is getting better - but certainly behind peers in terms of emotional regulation.

He’s off to mainstream school this September and I’d like to help him build his social skills ahead of that. He’s never made a friend, and doesn’t talk about other children much. He seems pretty happy with his own company and on his own agenda. But I’d like to get him to a place where he understands how to interact with other kids better as it’ll matter more when he starts school.

Hes been in nursery since 10 months old. So it’s not really about exposure but maybe more a skill to develop or just that it will take him longer…

Any ideas or similar experiences?

Bump

What support is DS receiving? What support is the nursery providing? Does he have an EHCP? Has he had a SALT assessment?

It is worth thinking about where DS is at first before think it about how to make progress. For example, is he comfortable playing alongside/near other children? Both with individual toys and then with a shared set of toys? If not, jumping straight to direct group interaction will be difficult if DS and focusing first on parallel play would be better.

Do you/nursery narrate and model interaction? For example, when building Lego you could say “Z is building Lego. I wonder what they are building.” Then after a pause you could ask Z what they are building. Some DC don’t know what to say when interacting and this enables them to pick up ideas on how to have a conversation. Some autistic individuals use lots of scripted language.

What is DS’s interaction with adults like?

I think it’s very normal when they are so young to just be super reserved. My DS didn’t socialise at all until he was a bit older and developed more interests that he could share with others. Some kids, it takes them a bit longer. I’ve written some guides to help parents of neurodivergent kids to navigate some tricky social situations. I’m happy to send you one if you’d like.

That would be so useful if you could

So glad it might help! I’ll send you a private message now with instructions on how to get the guides