With apologies in advance for a long post.
DS is 6.5 and in year 2 in a single form entry village school. He is late summer born.
Reception year was fairly straightforward. A few messages from the teacher about some pushing of other children, and a few moments of temper being lost, but nothing notable.
Year 1 was tough. His teacher frequently reported issues involving him lashing out and generally being unhappy. On one occasion he became very distressed and ran and hid at school. I arranged for an Ed psych to go in. She provided a detailed report which highlighted that he had asynchronous development. He had some extremely high scores (which were suggested to indicate high learning potential) but with difficulty around reading and particularly writing. Various recommendations were made which the school did their best to follow. The remainder of year 1 was better, but not perfect.
Year 2 started brilliantly. At the end of the first half term I was told that school were delighted that he seemed to have matured and there were no notable issues at all. He was thriving.
It didn’t last. I went in to see his teachers recently (at my request) and they reported that he is frequently struggling to regulate himself, particularly if writing is involved. His reading is improving (he isn’t yet fluent but I have seen a real change recently) and he loves maths and science. He hates writing and seems to find it extremely difficult / draining. He also seems to seek out sensory input at school and fiddles. He used to chew everything when he was younger but that seems to have almost stopped with a rare occasion when he is tired. He isn’t lashing out in the same way, but is showing frustration by ripping his work on occasion or being visibly cross.
At home he is generally lovely to have around. He argues with his sister (aged 3) more than I would like (and she winds him up), and can occasionally be grumpy, but nothing unusual. He has a good group of friends and enjoys playing. He is particularly close to me and we cuddle and talk every night.
He says he hates school. He can’t really explain why but says it is boring. We practice reading every night and occasionally I see the frustration when he makes mistakes. He has recently hit his head with his hand and said his brain is stupid after making mistakes. He also comments that the classroom is busy and loud (it is a tiny classroom with nearly 30 children - and very boy heavy). He says he finds is really distracting and wishes it was quieter. In a 1:1 environment he thrives.
Really, I think I am asking for any support or advice. I’m not sure what to do next. Should I be seeking a diagnosis of something, but if so, what? I have done a LOT of reading but nothing really seems to fit as he is fine at home and the beginning of year 2 was so good. DH says I’m overreacting and he is fine. I can be anxious but in my heart I know that something isn’t quite right. It just isn’t extreme / obvious.
i adore my son and think he is a truly wonderful little person. I worry that he is being labelled as naughty or stupid and I just want the best for him. It breaks my heart that he thinks he is stupid (he really isn’t) and just want him to find a way for school to be a happier and easier experience for him.
thank you so much for any suggestions