Neurodivergent or not?

[Jmcann]

Just looking for some advice..

My son is 6 years old, he is generally well behaved at school, he is a little behind in certain subjects but is progressing more as the time goes on.

He struggles mainly with the social aspect of it, I guess trying to fit in and impress other people. It’s been addressed a lot that he lacks personal space and can be very impulsive mainly with what he says rather than actions, but never maliciously.

In the past year he has gone through quite a lot of bullying, he has been held down and bitten, his belongings thrown away and daily comments to him. Even though we can all see what’s going on it’s like he just doesn’t understand, he is so desperate to be friends with these boys that he keeps going back even though the school have procedures in place to keep them separated.

I’ve noticed more and more he is starting to say silly mean comments to impress these boys and it’s impacting on his actual friendships, but whenever we ask why he says it he can’t give an answer other than it ‘just comes out’

Most schools days end with a lot of tears and frustration once he gets home, he seems to be a different child in and out of school. Once home he’s incredibly hyper, can’t sit still, can’t stop talking and can’t concentrate unless it’s something he is really interested in.

Doctors and people outside of the school setting have commented that it may be ADHD (which runs along both sides of his family) but school are persistent that he can sit still and listen at school so won’t agree to an assessment or extra help.

i guess I just need an answer of where do I go from here? And help or advice would be much appreciated

You say doctors have raised the issue of ADHD, can you speak to them?

Request a meeting with the SENCO. Whether DS has ADHD or not, the school needs to be providing support now. There is far more to be considered than whether DS can sit still and listen.

Firstly OP, you sound like a very caring Mum. I too have a 6 year old and we are currently going through a potential ADHD diagnosis - we are right in the early stages and had to go private as the NHS waiting time is over 2 years for where we are.

So sorry to hear he has endured bullying at school - children can be really mean to each other.

Essentially, I think you have to go with your gut and push for what you want, this is what I've been doing, its exhausting. I would speak to your GP, try and get an paeditrician (or community peads) to see him. If possible I personally think its best to try and see a general paeds consultant or similar FIRST - before actively being pushed down a specific avenue...i.e ADHD... in my case I tried for that but the wait where we are is also 2 years for a paeds consultant. Our healthcase system is so very broken. School sound very unhelpful - some children can 'mask' at school so it he may well be harder to manage at home than school.

Am also conscious 6 year olds can just be 6 year olds and can have major life changes that can affect them and change their behaviour... with us he has a new sibling and he's become a big brother. There's been a major over diagnosis of ADHD and similar which I'm sure you've seen in the news.

Good luck, there is help out there and you'll get there....unfortunately you just have to push for it! X