“Real world” conversation skills in autistic 5 year old

[foreverworryingmum21]

Hi..
Just looking for reassurance/if anyone else experiences similar really. My ds has just turned 5 and is autistic and I think also adhd. He’s always been very verbal, but as all sen parents (and all parents in general!) feel, I’m always looking at how he is now to predict how he’ll maybe be in the future.
So my worry at the moment is my DS’s ability/motivation to engage in conversations in the real world. He can chat extremely articulately about numberblocks/dinosaurs/trains/maps etc, but he does so mainly in his imaginative world - like we discuss numberblocks as if they’re real . If I ask what he’s done that day, 90% of the time I’ll get a very detailed story of how a numberblock came to school, played with them, etc. It’s very cute and funny, but it’s as though he can’t actually speak about real things happening/does he just not want to? I can get some stuff out of him but it’s hard work. I know that’s fairly “normal”, but it’s as though he doesn’t quite understand the difference between a conversation about real world stuff, and make-believe games. I don’t know if this makes sense, but sometimes he’ll say things that just make no sense at all - like I was just telling him something I did yesterday while he was with his dad, and he said “oh yes, was I there?”, and I was really thrown, as it sort of indicated a lack of understanding of more concrete concepts in language. Ie - he could not have been there as he was with his dad. He doesn’t do this all the time, and sometimes he can engage in back and forth chats, but it’s just frustrating and difficult sometimes to connect with him on a shared level.
I feel I’ve rambled on here, can anyone relate and share tips on what they do?? I also worry that this indicates a much bigger issue in his ability to have conversations, and does this mean he’ll always be like this??

Also I should add… DS also never. Stops. Talking. He is chatting away at the top of his voice from the moment he wakes up.. he wants to chat with us all day long - which again is very cute and he can be absolutely hilarious, but it’s hard mental work keeping up with this imagination world that sometimes makes so little sense!

My DS in 6, diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, and is very similar, he will talk about topics that interest him for ages, and talk absolutely non-stop about something completely irrelevant, but struggles to engage in “proper” conversations. I think he struggles to think of answers to questions on the spot. He will answer questions like “what have you done today”, but then will move straight back on to his own conversation.

I think it’s hard to know what the future holds, my DS has come so far this last year, but still very different to neurotypical 6 year olds x

It can be quite common in DC with SEN. Has DS had SALT and OT assessments? They can help with communication and interaction. Many think SALT is only about the physical act of speaking but the scope goes well beyond that. Is DS receiving any support at school? Some find extra-curricular clubs help with communication and interaction - although others find they don’t suit their DC.

Having said that, as you said some e.g. answering the question ‘what did you do today’ would be beyond many 5y/o’s without SEN. It can also be normal for some to answer real life questions with make believe world answers.

I agree with OPs, SALT could really help with strategies to teach your DS conversation skills, it isn't something that comes naturally to many autistic children. My son is now 11yrs and is still often lost in his imaginative world or absorbed with his special interest conversations. I often indulge him with say 5/10 mins of it in return for the same amount of real world conversation which he can do though it does often default back. We were recommended a book called the Conversation Train which is very visual and helps explain how to keep a conversation on track though your son might still be a little young for it.