Helping adhd teen at uni

[FedUpofPeepShow]

My son is adhd and probably also autistic. He has started uni this September and it’s been a bit of a bumpy start which we did expect. The things he seems to be struggling the most with are going food shopping (hates shopping and then carrying it home), cooking (he’s in a flat of 12, so kitchen gets busy) and managing his money. I’ve tried to give him some strategies, and have delivered some food, but I’d really like to help him learn how to do these things as they are all essential! Does anyone have any hints or tips that have worked for them?

For food shopping, could DS do online deliveries? Or you do it for him/together to begin with. If DS wants to go in person, would a taxi there and back help?

For cooking, would DS consider you or you approaching accommodation services to see if a swap to a smaller flat or a studio is possible? Or to a catered hall if his needs aren’t such that catered would be difficult e.g. a restrictive diet &/or being unable to go into somewhere to get food.

For managing money, can you help DS by planning a budget with (or for) him then drip feeding his money, daily/every few days/weekly/whatever works for him?

More generally, is DS known to disability services? Is he receiving DSA?

Thanks so much. Some of these are things we have suggested but he always finds a reason to reject e.g shopping deliveries - he doesn’t think they can go on campus /same with taxis/uber. I’ve said he needs to check this for definite but he won’t. I’ve suggested moving flats, but he doesn’t like change so he doesn’t want to move again. Unfortunately he does eat quite a restricted diet so catered halls wouldn’t work. Re money he has two accounts - one with the whole loan in, and another that he is supposed to transfer £100 per week to for spends. But I think he’s always dipping in to the main amount. It’s so hard as he gets angry with himself, but also with us for trying to help. We tried to apply for DSA but the site crashed constantly

I would be surprised if taxis and deliveries couldn’t go on campus. Would DS be OK with you checking?

Would DS transfer the money in the main account to you? Then you could set up a standing order to drip feeding it back to him.

Relook at DSA.

I must admit I never cooked at uni (and I was there for a very long time) I had a kettle, toaster and small microwave in my room. Does he like biscuits, toast, pot noodles and frozen microwave pizza? Most unis have small corner shops on campus or near bye. I remember once doing a proper shop at a large supermarket and carrying it all back, and decided never again. Even if he is not in catered halls, is there no student bar/cafe/cafeteria on campus? Most unis offer a cooked dish of the day and things like baked potatoes etc for a couple of pounds.

Before getting a kettle, toaster &/or microwave for DS’s room, check the contract. They aren’t allowed in many halls now.

Have checked and Tesco will deliver so he was pleased to hear that. He’s not allowed any cooking equipment in his room, unsurprisingly. He mainly lives on toast, eggs, noodles and pizza. Need to get back onto the DSA but he says he has to do thet, not me. It’s hard helping someone who needs help but doesn’t want it.

Where has the world come to. Being a student without a kettle? Really?

Glad you have resolved the delivery issue. I hope you can persuade DS to let you help with DSA.

@NellyBarney yes, many (I would go as far as saying most, but I don’t have any actual figures as evidence to support such a statement) halls do not allow items like kettles in rooms. Things like kettles, microwaves, etc. are mostly only allowed in the kitchens. Even mini fridges aren’t allowed in most halls except for medical reasons, e.g. to store medication.