How to manage tricky situation

[Hamiltonfan]

We have a family celebration coming up with a few hundred people attending. There will be a number of speeches, some by young children. One of the guests (a child in early teens) has tourettes. He is extremely welcome and we are so happy he is coming. But how do we manage him during the speeches when he is likely to shout out inappropriate things? Worried for him but also the children speaking. Thanks.

Does the child with Tourette’s actually want to listen to the speeches? Usually (sorry) they are quite dull so hopefully he might like to be sat in the next room watch tv / play their computer / laptop etc.

Just don’t hurt the Tourette’s kids feelings. Ask him especially when speeches are so long and drag out for ages he might be delighted to be able to sit next room.

Also ask the mother too.

It wouldn’t be nice to exclude him but maybe he can sit at the back for a quick exit if he feels like it’s too dull / too long/ overwhelming. Also don’t sit him next to a speaker. However if he wants to be there (and you want him there) everyone else will just have to be kind and considerate. It won’t be nice for him living 24/7 with Tourette’s so everyone else needs compassion and they will probably had a wine or 2 so won’t care.

I would ask the parents how they would like it handled. Different people prefer different things and handle things in different ways.

Parents aren't bothered about him interrupting. But the children speaking will be very upset if he interrupts..

Talk to the child and tell him that’s it’s ok to leave at speeches and sit next door etc (the mother might be giving him pressure to stay)

Tell all the speakers that he has Tourette’s and have understanding,

Unfortunately you’re going to have to rock with it and see what happens …..

Put him near the exit as far from the speakers so he can make a discreet exit if required.

It needs to be included if you have invited him and it’s not nice for him too / family (you will of known about his disability)

If you didn’t want him you shouldn’t have invited him or invited him after all the speeches finished / evening event if it’s a wedding.

Maybe if you didn’t want this situation you shouldn’t of invited him

If he's a teen, surely he would see that potentially interrupting speeches of younger children is unfair on them? So I would ask he steps outside at least for the speeches of the children. It is about balancing everyone's needs.

If you are family you'll all be fine. The children talking just need to be explained to his situation and that its not personal to them.

And you all support each other.

Mrs do as you would be done by and all that

If the teen wishes to be included, and some wouldn’t, then if they/their parents think ignoring it is best, which for some it is because drawing attention can make it worse, then I think it is a good opportunity for the parents of those children who will be speaking to discuss disability in an age appropriate way with their children. I know some people won’t agree with this, though.

It's not all family. We very much want him there but have to balance needs too of very nervous children who are public speaking and may have abuse shouted at them. Mum of child in denial. We are just trying to manage the situation and be fair to all X

Point remains all family or not. You support each other and you explain to the children. Essentially what flawless flipper said.

why on earth is this a thing to post about.

Do you want mumsnet permission to not invite him. Even though you "really want him there" or to remove him from the room

What does he want? Maybe also ask him that.

Jeez

If you want to be supportive, I think you need to be really careful how you are discussing the child and their family.