Is my 4 year old autistic

[CleverAmberSloth]

My 4 year old son has been put on the SEN register at school. He’s a younger 4 and his speech is slightly delayed compared to his peers but he can use sentences.
for attention & listening they said he attended to self-led activities during P.E, his attention can flit. Discussed that movement breaks maybe beneficial when completing adult led activities.
Play they said he typically watches his peers play and will narrate their play rather than join in.
understanding of language they said he required repetitions & instructions to be broken down in order to follow then and completed the action after his peers. They said he maybe following his peers lead rather than understanding the instruction.
expressive language they said he could join 3 words which I think he can do more than that.
socisl communication they said he doesn’t initiate interaction with his peers he typically watches them play and narrate what they are doing. He can find it challenging taking turns and sharing with peers.

does this sound like autism?
to me he gives eye contact, he roles plays, he plays with his cousin and on the park. He likes different toys and doesn’t line them up unless they are numbers. He’s loving, always smiling and happy. He can have meltdowns at the dentist and doctors. He use to have meltdowns with hair cutting but now he lets me cut it.
he went to harvest festival the other week and sat and sung songs but then they said when everyone was clapping they noticed he’d put his hands over his ears. He’s the loudest kid going and his dad is major loud so, he’s ok with fire alarms going off etc..
he was a lot worse when he started pre school and has come on massively since then, meltdowns are hardly ever, he’s such an easy good child. Am I looking too much into it.
he was born breech and 2 weeks early but I don’t think that makes any difference does it?

It could be autism, but it could also ‘just’ be speech delay. Is DS receiving SALT input? Have you spoken to the SENCO at school and what support is the school providing?

There’s so many ifs and buts. Autism is not one size fits all, and while he may tick a few boxes he might not tick all. For instance, my little boy is loving and kind and all those things, never ever has a melt down and he’s 2 almost 3 (so you would think toddler meltdowns happen).

However; he definitely is ASD. He walks on his tip toes, flaps his hands and his speech is delayed, no eye contact ever. He used to hate loud noises and now he couldn’t care less. Very bright boy, understands everything. I could go on.

I know a friend who has a son who is autistic who speaks fluently, excels at numbers and could count to 100 at 3. Hated loud noises, and doesn’t understand speech just repeats and copies what other people do but truly doesn’t understand the words / meaning.

it sounds like your child ticks quite a few boxes so I would consider the possibility and open to schools suggestions and help. I’ve found that knowledge is key with this.

i hope this helps.

Who knows?! Nothing you've written is conclusive either way. Try to embrace the SEN register - he will get more attention from teachers trying to figure out what exactly he needs, which is what everyone wants for their kid! And it's not permanent and development is not linear, so any problems now may disappear entirely or get much worse - the future remains a mystery. It's an opportunity to look at advice for parents of kids with relevant SEN profiles and try out some strategies and see if they seem helpful for him.