Please or to access all these features

SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

What does autism in girls look like?

5 replies

fruitfly3 · 07/10/2025 10:52

My daughter is 8 and currently undergoing an assessment for autism. I would love to know where to find good resources for ND girls - particularly about masking and what this looks like. I would also appreciate your experiences of girls and how well they mask. School are insistent that they don’t think she autistic - I’m really not as sure.

What we experience - significant worry and general anxiety and worry, sensory issues (refusal to take medicine, inability to cope with loud noise including parties, plays - she cries involuntary if someone shouts), emetaphobia, social challenges and difficulty fitting in (though she does have friends - she is cooled weird on occasion), significant fear of school and getting her in the door, carrying a comfort toy everywhere, challenges making eye contact or chatting to adults or unknown children, a slightly strange conversation pattern, and needing significant reassurance around trips / holidays etc, significant attachment to parent.

What we don’t see are meltdowns, significant repetitive behaviours, issues with food, rigidity of routine. She attends clubs and is fine, though school is a huge issue.

She’s bright, sweet, compliant, emotionally intelligent.

Does anyone else have a child that has presented like this? Were they diagnosed? What support do you get? She’s been ‘different’ to her peers in subtle ways since she was about three months old. Such a tough journey and my heart is with anyone who has a child with mild or unseen challenges.

OP posts:
fruitfly3 · 07/10/2025 11:56

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 07/10/2025 12:56

ASD can present like you describe.

You could look at the girl with the curly hair, and some of Purple Ella, Tania Marshall and Sarah Hendricks’ resources.

I would be looking at support for DD’s sensory needs - has she had an OT assessment including a sensory OT assessment? Has she had a SALT assessment? Support in school is based on needs, not diagnosis. With that in mind what support is the school providing? Is DD receiving any support for her anxiety?

The SEN board is quieter than the main boards, but you don’t get some of the awful replies you sometimes get on the main boards.

fruitfly3 · 07/10/2025 13:13

@flawlessflipper thank you, really appreciate that and will look at those resources.

All school see is a challenge with her going in first thing - other than that, they can’t see an issue (and, whilst sympathetic, were not forthcoming with strategies). There is SALT assessment as part of her MDT

Yes, it’s all feeling sensitive at the moment and I’m not sure I want to unleash the main boards on myself! Thank you again

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 07/10/2025 14:40

Request another meeting with the SENCO. They must make reasonable adjustments and must make their best endeavours to meet DD’s SEN.

For example, do they have anyone who can support emotional literacy work/Zones of Regulation, do they offer a nurture group, sensory circuits, someone who can support drawing and talking intervention or similar, Lego therapy, support with social interaction. Does DD use ear defenders or noise cancelling headphones/earphones? Do they have someone who can meet DD in the morning? Can DD arrive 5/10 mins early or late via a quieter entrance.

fruitfly3 · 07/10/2025 15:15

@flawlessflipper thank you -
I need to push for this. We’ve just moved schools which has been a bit of a disaster - her new school isn’t SEN friendly (backstory to move which I won’t bore you with). Regardless though, they have a responsibility to support her. She does use headphones which are fully supported by school.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page