Hi this is going to be quite long so thank you for reading! I really need some clarity/advice/opinions about my nearly 2 year old.
So since being baby he’s always seemed ‘different’ ie feeding issues, tube fed, food aversions. Then when he hit about 9 months we noticed he didn’t respond to his name and span wheels and anything really a lot! As he hit 1 year he had repetitive movements like head shaking, pacing, banging objects together and dropping them repeatedly to hear the sounds they make and this was like hours of the day. He never played with toys. As he aged signs of autism kept coming. So I’ll list them here:
- stimming- spinning, eye tracking, arm flapping, head shaking, tiptoes but not all the time, pacing, vocal stimming, fingers flicking, standing on his head, repetitive jumping, covering ears (sensory not because of sounds), flicking his head, mouthing everything, clapping, rocking. They come and go/ swap and change but they’re ever present.
- no response to name (better now but still limited) , no pointing, no following a point, limited gestures- he learnt to wave then regressed now it’s back same with blowing kisses but they’re always when prompted never spontaneous, doesn’t shake head yes or no, clapping is rare but he uses it to stim sometimes. He can sometimes high five.
- interest in toys is very minimal it has got a little better but he still mainly spins wheels, like to push things like bikes but not ride them, he now likes light up and musical toys like baby toys he’s very motivated by music but for the most part he just makes a mess and dismantles things. He never used to pretend play but now he talks on a phone but that’s the limit to his pretend play skills.
- when in public he’s always been a nightmare and it gets worse and worse as he gets worse older. His running off is UNREAL he needs to be in a pram and harness 24/7 he will not come back and absolutely will run into roads (we’ve had near misses before), he’ll be into lakes and water without a second thought. He doesn’t engage with like the park he won’t go on the equipment he wants to just run round the edges, if you go to the farm he’s not interested he’s just running off. We have like 1 safe space to go.
- his climbing is rediculous and so dangerous he cannot be left anywhere for even a minute. He’s always engaging in dangerous behaviour like we had to get rid of the trampoline but he insisted on running round the outside edge instead of bouncing and he ended up in hospitals with a head injury. He’s always throwing himself around and enjoys being squashed, thrown and span ect.
- he is so obsessive with things and always has been. If he gets fixated it’s all he can do you cannot distract from it. Ie if he’s climbing on something you can tell him no get him down a million times but it will not stop till you physically leave or remove whatever he’s trying to do. Same with food if he gets stuck on a food (at the moment ice cream) it’s all he wants he asks for it 100 times a day and won’t have anything else. One time it was lollipops and he realised they sold them at a specific park. Once he found out he wouldn’t do anything at the park other than try to get these lollipops and we had to stop going.
- personal care is horrendous. Nappy changes, clothes changes, teeth brushing, showering it literally takes to people to restrain him to get it done
- his understanding is incredibly limited he understands the item blanket and dummy that’s all and now can get them. But he cannot follow introductions like ‘get the ball’ ‘give it to me’ ect.
- he can get extremely distressed in new and busy places and will want to leave it’s always been the same and if children get too close he gets upset
- his eye contact seems good on first glance but only if he’s initiating the interaction. If you get closer to him and try to talk he won’t look at you he will keep moving his head or if he’s playing he doesn’t look at you he looks at what he’s doing.
- doesn’t eat or drink much at all. Literally about 3 foods and often goes a whole day without eating. He’s severely iron deficient. Under dietician and often loses weight.
there are probably more points here but this is the main.
so onto my issue-
although he has all these difficulties he has some great strengths. He likes adult engagement to a level. If you’re trying to play a game he’s not interested but he does like to come up to you and babble and if you chase, tickle or make silly noises he’s so engaged with you. But when it come to kids not so much although recently he will occasionally briefly babble at them. If they get too close he gets upset and runs away. He doesn’t ‘play with them’
more recently Romans language has exploded! He was virtually non verbal till the beginning of this month with the exception of ‘ta’. However he’s always been able to sing songs, count to 10. Now all of a sudden he is copying what you say. If you cough twice he will cough twice. If you say something in a singy tone so will he. He will copy things from the telly. Now all of a sudden he can say ‘bye bye see ya later’, ‘here ya go’ , ‘hi are you okay?’ Like whattt! For the most part he doesn’t know what they mean but with ‘bye bye see ya later’ he will say it randomly but also will use it contextually. Although he sticks to this one phrase. I’ve heard him saying ‘I digga i digga’ over and over and over. He’s heard it off the telly. The other day the neighbour waved from the window and they said bye bye see ya later to each other. Now every times he gets in the car he’s repeated it and waving at the window religiously like is this typical? Like for the most part the things he says he had no idea. But he does have some function words too now. He can say ice cream, thank you, uh oh, sweet sweets. He had said other words before shoe, car, choc choc, yog yog. But I find that he loses them once he loses interest in them. Now he’s obsessed with ice cream but I predict once he’s not the word will go. The thing is he can’t answer a question like ‘what’s this?’ And answer that’s it’s ice cream. He also doesn’t use words like mum, nan, juice, more, up, down ect. But he can copy them. If you shout the dogs name he’ll shout it but he won’t use it himself.
my problem here is now I’m not sure if he’s autistic at all. People are passing judgement like at a group today saying he’s talking now and it’s typical because kids just learn language differently. Like at first glance he can seem typical he’s not stood in a corner by himself he can be bubbly and happy with adults and he can use these words randomly which to others Seems like he knows what he means. Like he did say to a woman ‘hi are you okay’ so he used it right but has no clue what it means. If you ask him he can’t answer it. I don’t even know what I’m asking but I’m second guessing everything. Like maybe he’s just quirky and was a late talker. Or is this echolilia? He’s due his 2 year check and referral in 2 weeks and now I feel like she’s going to think the same as the woman today. 😩 I’m sick of having to decode everything all the time.
thank you for reading, sorry it’s so long, I think I really needed a rant!