My DS is 6, will be 7 next month. He doesn't talk at all, but screeches, hisses, hums and makes chattering sounds.
He isn't toilet trained nor can he feed himself with cutlery or anything (we have been trying to toilet train since he's been 3 but no joy, he's on laxido for poo withholding so it just runs out of him, school needs them either toilet trained or in nappies so he's in nappies).
Anyway generally despite lack of communication he uses learned hand gestures to get what he wants from us. We tried makaton but he didn't like it, nor did he like pecs. Preferred to lead us to where and what he wanted. Since starting back at school in August he's been very screechy and upset whenever home. He goes to an ASN base and school report he is relatively calm with them, although lots of screeching and banging at school too.
Home is becoming impossible though. He tried to smash the TV yesterday. Today he pulled his nappy down and threw his poo at me. He kicks, tries to pull my hair and will scream blue murder. My DH now has permanent tinnitus. We both work full time, but mostly at home. When he gets in from school (he's taxi'd there and back) about 3.20pm we will watch him then work later once he's in bed. My dad (who is late 70s) helps two days a week but really struggles with him now when he melts down. My MIL helps one day a week and and tells us we need to discipline him more and medicate him (I disagree, I think therapy would help better). She also struggles with him.
We are still on the waiting list for neurodevelopment team. He was referred in August 2022. I initially thought he was referred in 2021 but my shit health visitor didn't do it (I only found out when I phoned for a vaccine check for my younger son and found out she was on long term sick and hadn't put any referrals through like she'd told me and the new health visitor did it there and then for me a year later).
Anyway. Sorry, long post. I guess my question is, what do we do? I want to help him manage his emotions. Speech therapy signed us off saying they couldn't help us any more. We do get child disability for him; it's the medium rate, no mobility. He actually does sleep fairly well, which is why I think we didn't get the high rate as he doesn't qualify for night care. As far as I understand it.
Does anyone have any advice on how to manage this? Or how to help him? We are saving up money to start looking at private help. Also, we are in Scotland so it's the Scottish system which I don't think does the senco or ehcp thing I read about a lot on here.
Thanks in advance!x