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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Original poster

EYFS and autism

6 replies

Chickenonthebathroomfloor · 15/09/2025 10:47

My four year old son (July born) has autism and has just started reception in an incredible mainstream school (my older children also go here and one of them has autism too so we had high hopes!) We had an early years inclusion worker whilst he was at nursery and she refused to apply for an EHCP for him so mainstream was our only option.

He’s really struggling. He was initially finishing at 10:30am but he’s only managed to make it to that time once. We’ve been collecting him about 10am most days as school phone us to say he’s distressed. This morning, he was in tears when I arrived and desperate to go home. When he’s distressed, it is incredibly difficult to distract him and when he wants something he finds it nigh on impossible to move past it. When it escalates, he can be aggressive. Luckily we’ve been able to fetch him before it gets to this point.

I just don’t know what to do. We’ve got a meeting with school tomorrow afternoon to discuss things. I just don’t see the point in continuing to send him for one hour a day when it’s upsetting him so much and he’s not managing to increase the time he spends there. But then is it worth it to keep sending him there in order to gain evidence for an EHCP and then name a specialist school on it? Or should I just apply for an EHCP myself?

Has anybody had a similar situation with their child? All advice would be appreciated as I feel so very lost.

OP posts:
1995SENNDMUM · 15/09/2025 11:47

Chickenonthebathroomfloor · 15/09/2025 10:47

My four year old son (July born) has autism and has just started reception in an incredible mainstream school (my older children also go here and one of them has autism too so we had high hopes!) We had an early years inclusion worker whilst he was at nursery and she refused to apply for an EHCP for him so mainstream was our only option.

He’s really struggling. He was initially finishing at 10:30am but he’s only managed to make it to that time once. We’ve been collecting him about 10am most days as school phone us to say he’s distressed. This morning, he was in tears when I arrived and desperate to go home. When he’s distressed, it is incredibly difficult to distract him and when he wants something he finds it nigh on impossible to move past it. When it escalates, he can be aggressive. Luckily we’ve been able to fetch him before it gets to this point.

I just don’t know what to do. We’ve got a meeting with school tomorrow afternoon to discuss things. I just don’t see the point in continuing to send him for one hour a day when it’s upsetting him so much and he’s not managing to increase the time he spends there. But then is it worth it to keep sending him there in order to gain evidence for an EHCP and then name a specialist school on it? Or should I just apply for an EHCP myself?

Has anybody had a similar situation with their child? All advice would be appreciated as I feel so very lost.

I m so sorry that no one helped you, as parents can apply for EHCPs themselves someone should have told you to do so last year really. I d get that done this week and see if deferring him a year is a option as it sounds like you already had evidence from professionals and nursery but its still a long short to get a Sen school for next September. Don't rely on professionals to do things from now on and keep fighting all the way through the EHCP process, sadly it's the only way you might win.

flawlessflipper · 15/09/2025 12:06

Request an EHCNA yourself. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

I wouldn’t deregister, even if you decide not to send DS, which is your right regardless of SEN.

What support is the school providing? If they need more funding to support DS, have they applied for high needs top up funding? Have you approached the specialist teaching service for advice?

Original poster
Chickenonthebathroomfloor · 15/09/2025 15:07

1995SENNDMUM · 15/09/2025 11:47

I m so sorry that no one helped you, as parents can apply for EHCPs themselves someone should have told you to do so last year really. I d get that done this week and see if deferring him a year is a option as it sounds like you already had evidence from professionals and nursery but its still a long short to get a Sen school for next September. Don't rely on professionals to do things from now on and keep fighting all the way through the EHCP process, sadly it's the only way you might win.

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Do you know whether an EHCP from school would be more likely to be accepted? This was what put me off doing it myself to be honest

OP posts:
1995SENNDMUM · 15/09/2025 15:09

Chickenonthebathroomfloor · 15/09/2025 15:07

Do you know whether an EHCP from school would be more likely to be accepted? This was what put me off doing it myself to be honest

Show quote history

There shouldn't be a significant difference, in fact the council can't put rubbish illegal policies on you like needing 3 learning plans and in all honesty if you think they ll need a specialist placement for year 1 you don't have time to be wasting hoping they ll do it now.

flawlessflipper · 15/09/2025 17:09

Don’t let the school or LA put you off. The legal threshold for an EHCNA and to issue an EHCP is the same whether it is a parental request or not.

Original poster
Chickenonthebathroomfloor · 15/09/2025 19:25

Thank you @flawlessflipperand @1995SENNDMUMthat’s reassuring to know. Hopefully I’ll have a better idea of the plan once we’ve had the meeting tomorrow. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for him 😩

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