How do you keep going?

[EpicaOmega]

Just that, really. How do you keep going?

I had an abusive upbringing, my family of origin is still tricky, and while my DH and DS(13) are wonderful human beings, the emotional load of having a son with ASD and now a DH with long covid has me on my knees, as there hasn’t been a break for decades. And work currently is pretty much two full time jobs. The constant drama of my life has made most friends walk away, as I just can’t ever guarantee being available. I’m burned out. I know it’s a tough age for him and the majority of the time he is a lovely human being, but every time DS decides to use me as an emotional punching bag or even an emotional support, I’m finding it harder and harder to take.

So yes - how do you do it? Would antidepressants make me more capable? Any tips would be more than welcome!

Some find counselling &/or antidepressants help.

Some find a support group helps.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you, an assessment of DS’s needs and, depending on DH’s needs, an assessment of his needs.

Does DS have an EHCP? Is he receiving any support for emotional regulation and mental health?

Are you receiving all the benefits your household is entitled to?

Is there any possibility of cutting down your work hours? Is taking some parental leave an option to give you some breathing space?

Is there anything you could outsource at home, e.g. a cleaner?

What has helped us is having all the necessary support. For example, EHCPs, social care support, continuing care funding, blue badges, adaptations to house. The Pub thread on the SN Chat board is good too.

Thank you so much for your lengthy answer! There are some things I hadn’t thought of. And maybe I will come over to the pub… 🙂