4yo following older kids at playground

[clinellwipe]

Looking for advice! My (nearly) 4 year old son is awaiting an autism assessment. He is extremely confident and sociable but doesn’t spot social cues at all. He’s not interested in kids his own age and at the playground he always seems to pick an older child (around 6-10yo) and follows them around. Some kids entertain it but most kids, understandably, get a little tired of a younger kid shadowing them. He tries to hold hands with them and when I tell him to give space or try to redirect him he tells ME to stop following HIM 🫣 🫠

How do I try and teach him not to follow other kids so much? I guess it’s hard because some kids genuinely don’t mind and are happy to play with him, and other kids definitely DO mind - I can read the signals but my son can’t!

Thanks in advance

I think you need to continue to step in once you see other DC aren’t interested in playing even if DS doesn’t want you to.

It’s common for children who are/ may be ND to prefer adults or older children.
Some primary schools have mentor type links between Y5/6 and YR children (sometimes on a rota so that they get time to socialise)
One school I used to go to called this gardeners and seedlings.
You can mention this when he starts school. The staff can teach play and social skills with peers alongside this.
If this continues in public once he’s a little older you could use a colour coded circles of proximity visual to teach about interaction with close family and friends and those he doesn’t know well or at all.

It sounds like he had some lovely experiences though. Many children like playing with younger or older children. I'd be there to step in should a child get really annoyed but I would be careful that your discomfort and worries don't overshadow your ds. As long as he is happy and confident, I'd support that. My mother e.g. has nill social awareness. Very likely ASD and ADHD. But she has tons of social confidence. She is the type who runs the PTA, the top charities, who has a social network of 1000s and who gets tons of favours from everyone and anyone. She just basically stalks people and tells them what to do, and almost everyone always obliges.

Thank you all for the replies. @NellyBarney your mum sounds like my son 😅 she sounds great