School trousers for sensory processing disorder - help!!

[KittyQuestions34]

Hi everyone. My daughter starts secondary school in September and needs to wear ‘tailored’ black trousers. The school are very rigid in their uniform policy. My daughter has ADHD and really struggles with clothes, particularly trousers. Up to now she’s worn flared black leggings for school as this is what she can tolerate, however she’s not allowed to wear them at her new school.

can anyone recommend any trousers to try - unfortunately I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is she needs but she likes them to be quite tight around the tummy, not scratchy material without too much of a ‘rise’ or too high waisted. I’m taking her shopping for the umpteenth time today to try and find some that she can tolerate and maybe even find comfortable.

they have to be ‘tailored’ (which I think means with a button and fly?) and not made out of jersey material.

thank you so much ☺️

Have you asked for a reasonable adjustment?

Has the school specifically said no jersey trousers? Because you can get some jersey trousers that look quite tailored. For example, these M&S ones. You could ask if they are acceptable. Even if they aren’t normally, they could be a reasonable adjustment.

EDIT: Sorry - kept showing as not posted!

Sorry - kept showing as not posted!

Sorry - kept showing as not posted!

When this affected my son, I ordered 13 (really not kidding) pairs of grey trousers to try on at home, from all sorts of shops - some were children's suit trousers. Only 1 worked - they happened to be Next ones, which was lucky as some of the others were hugely expensive.

Trying on at home reduced the pressure, which in turn reduced sensory challenge. He was able to consider clothes that way - shops reduced him to a mess, all by themselves, let alone with the extra anxiety about finding something.

Having said that, you can request the school allow the sort of tailored jersey ones @flawlessflipper suggests, if they'd otherwise say no. Schools are bound by the Equality Act and this is a glaringly obvious reasonable adjustment, as she says. Attach the diagnosing report for the SPD maybe, as heft?

Trying on at home is definitely easier. We do the same with all clothes and footwear. Like @perfectstorm’s DS, 2 of my DSs don’t cope in shops without the demand of trying things on and the pressure of finding ‘the one’.

We went through a halcyon stage at our local John Lewis where a menswear staff member was autistic, got it, and would fillet the sales for us twice a year. We would go in on a set date, saved up DLA in DS's hot little debit card, and he would have a personal shopping session in the soundproofed room for it. He absolutely loved that - the JL partner even had a tool to remove labels and would stitch up, if DS liked something but the label was an issue. He was the best dressed member of the family for two years! Sadly that guy left, so he's back to shopping online, and is infinitely less stylish. But normal shopping is impossible for him. Just a non-starter.

BTW @flawlessflipper thank you SO much for the theory test tip-off. I spoke to DS today and he'd like to try that. It will honestly change his life if he has a car of his own - a sensory-insulated box to leave the house in!

@perfectstorm your JL experience is amazing. That man was an asset. The right people make a world of difference.

You are welcome for the theory tip. I haven’t arranged a test at home myself, but I know two who have - one for similar needs to your DS and one for medical reasons.

A car makes the world of difference. Public transport is far too overwhelming to navigate for DS1 and DS3. People, noise, smells, interaction and the expectations and demands associated with that, unpredictable nature, change, executive functioning demands… For similar reasons taxis don’t work either.

We couldn’t manage without the car. DC being able to drive themselves is the next step. DS1 will never be able to drive, but DD2 can and DS2 & DS3 will be able to. Although is it unreasonable of me to secretly hope DS2 doesn’t get enhanced mobility PIP? It isn’t long before I will be completing his form and I have considered downplaying his difficulties in order to delay learning to drive.

Does he know he can learn with that? DS had no clue till I told him.

TBH all DLA and PIP presently goes towards the appeals, but as DS's was in Jan and DDs is in Sept we are soon through that tunnel... for now, at least. So can start to think about what the next steps are for them, and I do think driving will be a gamechanger for him.

I really miss that JL man. I wish they could employ someone to travel store to store - it would be a very subscribed service! We spent a lot of money as it was great to see him looking like any other kids, and not like his Mum chose his clothes, and of course he was growing like a weed, and in men's sizing. So it was a win for JL, too!

Unfortunately, DS2 knows.

It may not be a fight you want to take on, but do you know driving lessons can be part of EOTIS packages?

Spectra Sensory Clothing - Autism Friendly Black School Trousers — Sensory Smart https://share.google/YFZpiqpbmEEzw1sWF maybe these?