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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Anyone else burnt out with not much left?

2 replies

HazelBunny · 12/08/2025 20:01

It is 3 weeks into summer holidays and today the head of the parish counsel told me off for my 4 year old and 5 year old autistic kid being noisy at the community coffee morning because 'the elderly come here and do not like noise'.

I burst into tears with the church lead moments later.

For background. Christmas 2018 I was pregnant in excuitating pain and went to A&E on Christmas day who dismissed it as a waste of their time.

In Janurary an abusive client gave me a threatened miscarriage. The noted an 'ovarian cyst but nothing to worry about'.

In Febuary I called into hospital to say my 12 week check showed an ovarian tumour doubling in size every 2 weeks.

At 22 weeks I had a 35cm long vertical open lapotomy while pregant and they woke me up with NO pain relief because they wanted to drip feed it to me as needed. I basically woke up in hell.

At 33 weeks I gave birth. Tore severely. Had 2 hours of surgery. My baby would not latch on. The midwife accused me of doing drugs. The peadatrican said give her formula after 9 hours...

At 2 years old my concerns of autism were dismissed by health vistor dispite signs.

The nursery reffered her for autism asessment and were turned down as 'innapropriate'.

In reception I said she was austic but they told me she was just young, tired and offered me parenting classes.

In year 1 things escalated severely and no one could deny she was obviously autistic...it still took a year to get a diagnosis and EHCP.

But that is it. I am burnt out. I was training to be a lawyer. I graduated my MSc in law, Business and Management last December. I was a paralegal about to be a lawyer. A carreer woman. But my boss said I 'always had something going on' with my daughter and gave me a formal warning so I left. Now my daughter schools 9-1pm.

Now I have given up my career and I am a full time carer. I am miserable. I try to do dance once a week in the evenings and meet up where I can with friends. But I hate my life. I am not depressed but I am anxious. I love both my kids my autistic and my NT preschooler. But life is hell. Everyday is a solo battle to teach her to read and write. And she bites, kicks, hangs off things squeels, shouts. I can not go anywhere or do anything because she simply has no place anywhere. No one tolerates her. No church, no clubs, no HAF clubs, music centres, community halls. I am completley and utterly ostricised because of my daughter. I live in a rual community and there is nothing for us within 40 miles of our location.

I just want to reach out because it has been a continuation of rough days and suffering. I do not know how to keep surviving thus.

OP posts:
flawlessflipper · 12/08/2025 21:17

I am sorry things are so overwhelming right now.

Have you had social care assessments? And looked at your local short breaks offer?

Screamingintoapillow · 15/08/2025 03:09

Hi I saw your post as I was writing one about how hard some days are and wanted to reach out and just say I hear u and I feel for you and the same, not much else to offer apart from to let you know youre not alone I'm also out here too along with others that haven't commented trying to do the best I can and sometimes it's so fkin wearing, sometimes ppls comments and looks can really make u feel like sh*t trust me I've spend so many yrs beating myself up and I'm still not done but there are others like you out there trying to keep our heads above water and if u ever want to message me ur welcome too, it's hard enough being a parent and then mum in this day and age with sm etc let alone with the added pressure of how society judges your parenting of kids with additional needs

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