Today the reality hit.

[23fplo3]

Hey,

I'm posting for no reason other than getting this off my chest...the realisation that my children are sen, have needs and requrie a lot of work only just "hit home" yesterday. I've been bumbling along, juggling, keeping things afloat and then yesterday I felt that everything has come crashing down to a "oh this is my life " point. Does life get better as your children get older? Do you manage to maintain & hold friendships?

For a bit of context I'm struggling with anxiety & depression, I have 2 SEND children 8 & 5 both ASD and one with drug resistant epilepsy & one with gdd...i somehow manage to work (thanks to amazing in-laws!) but i have no social life to speak of and im really quite lonely - i just miss having someone to chat to.

I have three very old friends that keep in touch via messenger (i dont normally go to the meet ups due to dc needs) and we arranged a day out. I haven't been out with friends or mum friends in years, my partner came along as we need two people. We met at a park which also has a fun fair & inflatables...last time we met there as a group was around.... five years ago and it went well it was quiet & not very popular event.... i have fond memories of the day & I was really looking forward to it....but yesterday it was incredibly busy. My dc both struggled with the noise, the crowds the smells, just the overall atmosphere. As soon as we pulled in we could see it wasn't suitable, it was heaving.

So both dc needed different techniques to cope & manage - my partner went off with one dc and I managed the other dc. I attempted to go back to the picnic area several times, to chat with my friends. They did try to help, moving somewhere quieter, trying to soothe / distract but the noise & stress had started to trigger seizures...so we said our goodbyes and we went home...as we were walking through the park to get home it felt as though everyone else was sat relaxing on blankets, chatting, laughing and their children running & squealing having a wonderful day. That's where I wanted to be, what I imagined my life to be similiar too when I was pregnant not this. I love my children, I love my family, im not sure where I'm going with this but I'm just so sad and so lonely. :(

Thanks for listening xx

Oh my goodness, this must be so hard. I feel for you. Have you contacted your local Parent Carer Forum? In some areas they are really proactive and arrange SEND friendly sessions at local attractions in the holidays and at other times. You should be able to find their contact details in your councils Local Offer. Also they may be able to put you in touch with other parents in similar circumstances, even if it’s just to talk to them for reassurance.

it is sad , I wish I could say different.
when that’s happened to me, I focus
on what I can do as a family .
I wallow in it and then move past it. Otherwise I think I’d be permanently
sad.

@23fplo3

hi , your not alone , my two youngest have asd , one with asd. Adhd & GDD.

We have to go out separately and not as a whole family.

I feel sad that we have to do this and as you say sometimes you really feel like the only one. So just a hand hold really. X

Hi @23fplo3just here to say you are not alone, I have a 6 year old with ASD and ADHD, and we have struggled with places to go this summer with every where being much busier.

My only tips are soft play, and indoor places on a sunny day, it’s much quieter, and parks and outdoor places on colder, showery days.

I lost friends since my son was born, as we just couldn’t join in the same activities, but I joined a local ADHD / ASD group and made some fab mum friends who fully understood the difficulties. Having other people who get it, had kept me sane! X