I’m a sen mum and I feel completely overwhelmed

[RainbowE]

Hello I’m a Sen mum to my three year old undiagnosed but on waiting list autistic daughter who is nonverbal and has global development delay and I have just come on here to let something’s out that Iv been holding in and I need to just get out of my system I have been struggling a lot with my daughter during the summer holidays especially when taking her out it’s really hard I took her out last week and she had a complete meltdown she was overstimulated and she just did not want to be outside at all I usually use the pram to take her out but I tried to get her to walk instead and it was just a no go with her she would not walk she clung to me crying screaming I tried to use ear defenders it did not help she dosent like anything around her ears since that day I have been stuck at home scared to go out because I’m worried about how she will react when she goes out I’m struggling so much with this before she used to walk to nursery but she would cry or get overstimulated again due to sensory overload I live on a busy road so it’s a lot for her when I open the door to outside she immediately has a meltdown it also does not help when people stare at her when she’s stimming or having a meltdown or giving judgemental looks it makes you feel like a crap mum I obviously don’t wanna keep her inside all throughout the summer holidays but at the same time she’s happier inside and walks around everywhere inside it’s a safe space for her being a Sen parent is really challenging and challenging doing it all on your own without getting any support from the other parent who doesn’t understand what your going through when there never around to see the bad times and what you have to go through daily bath times are also really hard she absolutely hates baths Iv tried showers and it’s the same she hates it everytime she has baths she’ll have a meltdown and cling onto me Iv tried bath toys it doesn't help at all and when it comes to bath times I absolutely dread it I just wanted to get all this off my chest because I feel drained tired upset I feel like I’m drowning I feel very depressed and so alone

Use the buggy if it helps. Ignore what others think.

Some find having a hood up helps. If DD will wear them, sunglasses too.

Can you try to go to quiet places at quiet times?

Would DD get in the bath with you? Would she partake in water play at other times?

Hi @RainbowEsounds like you are having a really tough time at the moment!
My son is now 6, diagnosed with ASD and ADHD at around your daughter’s age, he would not have a bath, he will kick scream, and it was dangerous for him, so for a while I just washed him a flannel, stood in the bathroom. After a few months he decided he liked baths again, it has happened again since, and again the more I push him the worse it gets. If you do think she could be bribed, the bath foams are fun for them, and great for sensory play.

As for going out, do what is best for you both, don’t worry about anyone else’s opinion! We tend to do the park in cloudy, showery weather and soft play on the hot days, the opposite to most people so it’s quiet.

My biggest recommendation is finding someone in the same boat as you, either through a local meet up, or online, as they will understand, and you will feel less alone on the bad days!

I could have wrote this 3 year ago!

use the buggy.

we ventured out to places I knew would be quiet.
hard atm due to summer holidays but we used to be at the park at 8 in the morning so he could do whatever he wanted to.
also look at your local soft plays etc as some do SEN sessions.
I did have to perceive with going to the shops etc, I would give him a snack before going in for him to have whilst I wizzed round. And it got a lot better over time. His favourite place now is Morrisons.

regarding bath times, take the stress away from you both and wash her a wash down from the sink.
agree with the bath foams and my son loves the colour changing bubble bath from home bargains if you wanted to try.

Hi yeah she does like put her hand under the water when she’s standing by the sink thank you I will try the bath foams and I will definitely take the buggy with me when we go out next time thank you

What about other water play not just running her hands under a tap?

We have tried bubbles she likes bubbles Iv tried using a bubble machine in the bath the flower one that moves but it scared her coz it was moving around on the bath tub

I would try some water play.

For example:
Washing/bathing toy cars/animals/dolls/whatever toy.
Blowing bubbles through a straw - you can add food dye to the water.
Painting the fence with water.
Paddling pool.
A bowl/water tray/tuff tray with lots of different containers (not just things like jugs or cups but things like syringes and pipettes can work well) DD could fill up/empty and different toys so she can see how they float or sink.
Different bowls/containers with tubing or guttering so DD can experiment with the flow of water from one area to another - you can add cars, little balls, etc to see how they flow down the water.

If you look on Not on the High Street you will something called a Bath Potion Kit. 12 year old AuDHD DD absolutely loves it and I see no reason why she wouldn't have loved it at 3 too. Bonus - most of it's made of soap flakes so they get a wash too.