I have thought for years now that my DD (now age 9) is possibly autistic. As I know is typical particularly for girls, she complies completely at school to the extent that her teachers have been very surprised when I’ve explained the contrasting behaviour at home (extreme emotional meltdowns being my main concern including physically hurting herself and me). She is very sensitive to anything that sets her apart as different and I have avoided going down the path of assessment partly because of that (I think she’d find the process very stressful), partly because largely she is coping and I’m putting in place the emotional support and regulation I think she needs at home and a diagnosis wouldn’t change that, but also if I’m honest partly because I fear that someone else won’t see it, even a professional. Surely she will just mask in any kind of assessment setting?
I don’t know if I’m wrong though and actually she would benefit from a diagnosis (if she got one) - so much of what I read about autistic women is that they wished they’d been diagnosed earlier as it explained so much. I’m also acutely aware that as she gets older and with secondary school looming, she may not be able to cope for much longer. Any advice welcome - it’s my first time posting on this board as if I’m honest I worry sometimes that I’m wrong and just seeking an explanation that isn’t there.