Feeling deflated

[Mams1234]

My year 7 daughter is going to be having her right to chose ASD assessment soon, school have been given some forms to fill in also, I've spoken to head of year who says she has had a great first year and on the system its all positive behaviour, she has friends and laughs in the yard but she doesn't see the behind the scenes stuff at home, the crying, stresses the organisation that we do for her to make sure she has a good day at school, packing her school bag, lunch, making sure she has all her equipment so she doesn't get detentions. Feel like I will be wasting my time getting this done if school are just going to turn around and say shes fine, even though she was crying in a lesson because they had a practice lock down and because she didn't know it was happening it upset her and in a lesson she got uncomfortable with a topic about breathing (not sure where this has come from) so she had to leave the science lesson and its not the first time she's had to do this but it's not a concern because it musnt have happened enough times to be brought to the head of years attention she said. Feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall as I think she is masking at school

A good health care professional should is assessing will understand masking. They will also know schools don’t always see the signs.

@perpetualplatespinning
Thank you that's what I'm hoping, she has had an assessment/ first appointment with a CAMHS ASD nurse last year and from what they saw, my forms and her primary school forms which will be pretty much same as high schools will probably be, they put her through for the assessment but was a 3 year waiting list with them that's why we are having to do the forms again as its a right to chose referral.

Usually it’s a multidisciplinary assessment. Although school staff are asked for information, a specialist teacher will often observe and write a report for the process.
I used to do this as one aspect of my role and would be able to observe and record difficulties and differences including anxiety ,attention and listening skills, sensory needs etc.
As PP has said they will be aware of masking.

@24Dogcuddler her head of year said she would be doing the form as she does them all the time even though she only teaches her once a week for PSHE and sees her in the y7 yard, I would have preferred a teacher to assess her all day as they would see how she actually copes in situations rather than bits here and there, In primary school she was hanging around with an older child for a while who was possibly non binary or transioning from girl to boy I got a call off school to say my daughter had told one of the teachers she was confused herself with how she felt in her body, never mentioned this to us before or had we seen anything to suggest it, it was something we talked about with her to let her know we was there if she needed us but as soon as she stopped hanging around with the child which was possibly within a few days of us being told this, there was nothing ever mentioned or she never said anything to us about it again, this is how she is with people how she tries to fit in, to be like them and get through her school days. She gets obsessed with people and interests and hobbies. I'm hoping the head of year will at least ask her other teachers for their opinions.

I know you must be worried School advice is just one piece of evidence.
Are they doing an ADOS assessment? If so that should give a clear indication.
I know she’s not a teen yet but you could look at the teen version of the AQ questionnaire for extra evidence. This is often helpful for prompting an assessment.

https://novopsych.com/assessments/diagnosis/autism-spectrum-quotient-adolescent/

@24Dogcuddler thank you so much, yes its the ADOS assessment, she also has an appointment with peadriacrics this week as she has hypermobility in her hands and arms and she struggles writing alot or fast, it was diagnosed by a occupational therapist last year but also now has other possible signs of EDS, just want everything in place for her so if she needs/wants some help it's there for her at school. The amount of times I told them about the hypermobility before she started high school and whilst at parents evening and primary school having the reports and stuff and not passing on when they have the transition meetings this is why I feel I'm just fighting a loosing battle and nobody is interested, the head of year finally got it all sorted the other week a writing bored, laptop to write if needed but it's nearly the end of the school year now 🙄

Have you spoken to the SENCO?

@perpetualplatespinning no I have been speaking with the head of year who was sorting everything but that might be my next step, she has a different head of year next year so I might just go straight to the SENCO myself

Request a meeting with the SENCO.

@perpetualplatespinning I will do thank you 😊

Ask the SENCO if a one page profile can be put in place so that regular teachers are aware of her difficulties and adaptations required for writing etc. She may need adaptations in P.E. and practical subjects where there could be safety issues.
Hypermobility is more common with those who are ND.

@24Dogcuddler yeah that has just recently ( middle of june) been done for the hypermobility and all the teachers know about it now she has a foldable writing board and can use a laptop if still struggling in some lessons and hopefully in the future when exams are being done she will get extra time as she did in her Y6 SATS 😊

@Mams1234 Fantastic you are on it! Sounds like they need prompts though.

Have you considered moving to a laptop for most subjects?

DD learning to touch type will help.

@24Dogcuddler thanks yeah they need a nudge to get everything in place now and again lol.

@perpetualplatespinning she has the laptop for the long writing subjects like, English, History and Geography but OT said it will be good for her to still write in the lessons that doesn't do much writing as its good for the muscles and joints to be used still 😊