ADHD in girls

[Istheremore]

I've started looking into the possibility of my 8 year old daughter having ADHD, just wondering if anyone can tell me their daughter symptoms?

My daughter was very shy up till about 6/7 wouldn't even answer the register at school.
She's still very shy out of the house.
When she's home she's bossy, has massive out brust of being just mean.. like explosive breakdowns, can't cope with her emotions at all.
She struggles when the attention is on anyone but her. But also struggles when the attention is on her.
She is a real day dreamer at school.
She is either super mother hen with her siblings or plain horrible.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Some of that sounds like my DD (ASD and ADHD). My DD can't speak when overwhelmed either. She has a strong preference for being in control of games (rigid thinking - that way other people can't suddenly change the rules!) Goes from 0-60 with emotions really fast. The daydreaming is classic ADHD.

I think it would be worth getting your DD assessed for both. There is a really good checklist for ASD in girls available here https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

Obviously nobody will tick every single item on that very very long list! But it is quite useful to give you an idea of which areas your daughter has lots of ticks in and which she might have few or none.

@RavenLaw thank for this. I've looked at it and it's a long list but sooo many traits my daughter has. It's so bloody hard isn't it.

It is really bloody hard. ASD and ADHD together are a constant tug-of-war.

Has your DD seen "Inside Out"? We found that a lot more useful than the zones of regulation they do at school.

@RavenLaw yeah she's seen it, but don't think she really got it.. she's quite young for her age.maybe we'll revisit it and chat about it.
She just gets so angry and frustrated with everything. You honestly don't know what version of her you'll get minute by minute. I feel guilty even thinking she has some sort of Send, but at the same time I know she's struggling and I know she needs extra support. But she won't cope with meeting or being diagnosed because she hates being talked about and won't speak to anyone.

Maybe get her some counselling or therapy as well/along side the diagnosis discussions?

I’m only suggesting this because she sounds like my sister, she hyper sensitive to being seen as ‘different’ to such a profound level that it affected her personality well into adulthood. I knew I was different and lent into the ‘weird’ and actively tried to be self deprecating. We both have serious dyslexia and I have ADHD.