Hi, will try to keep this brief, hopefully this is the right place to post. We have a 2.5 year old who goes to nursery 3 days a week. At home his behaviour is brilliant 95% of the time - he gets upset the odd time or may occasionally do something small like make a bit of a mess whilst looking for a certain toy then not want to put the rest away (but will once told a few times), we've just assumed this is normal toddler behaviour. He went through a phase at nursery of pouring his water on the floor or putting his plate of food on the floor. He tried this once or twice at home - we corrected it straight away and he hasn't done it since at home.
Last night when picking him up, they asked to speak to us and mentioned they want to put a referral in for his behaviour. We both work in education (but with older kids so unsure of the process with little ones) so we were absolutely blindsided by this. We asked if anything else had gone on apart from the food and water issues and they tell us he's apparently been throwing toys when he's already holding them at other kids and has been doing it for a couple weeks but we didn't know any of this? He's literally never done this at home, he doesn't even throw a ball unless asked! At groups he talks to other toddlers and gives toys to babies. He sings happy birthday to his friends. The only behaviour we recognised is when he sometimes shakes his hands or hits his head when he's frustrated (very rare, he's only done this a handful of times) but again we thought this was a normal way of a toddler regulating and getting their frustration out but maybe not?
We're just really lost here and were hoping someone with experience going through this process could shed some light? We didn't know any of his incidents so we're devastated as we couldn't help if we didn't know - he doesn't do anything concerning at home. Thank you so much