Tell me about your PDA girls, please!

[PurpleIris21]

We are considering a private assessment for DD, who is nearly 10 and in Y5. She's had a really tricky year this year, and seems permanently on edge, with angry, tearful outbursts most days after school. She doesn't want to do anything at weekends and the smallest request becomes a huge battle which we never win because she gets so upset.

She had a lot of sensory issues when younger but we dismissed the possibility of ASD as her communication skills always seemed pretty good. But PDA definitely fits her behaviour at home right now, and she had a similar phase a couple of years back when her dad and I were both working long hours and she had to go to wraparound care every day.

It would be really helpful to hear other people's experiences before we commit to going down this route. If you have a girl with PDA, what behaviours alerted you that something was wrong? Did you know from when they were very young? And do they have more "classic" autistic traits too?

TIA

My 12yo is awaoting asd and adhd diagnoses
She didnt have speech delay was in fact very advanced.

But your description doesnt really fit as mine has been tricky from toddler age. Wouldnt listen to no would have to do stuff anyway. Issues in reception and every school year. Effectively defiance as wouldnt do work or perhaps pe. Things like getting her to do homework.
Pda is driven by anxiety.

Possibly yours is autistic the sensory issues/emotional issues. And also not wanting to go out do social things.

Is she avoiding other things?
Homework
Tooth brushing
Bedtime

For asd they look for sensory issues/rigid thinking or routines/special interests/stims

Thanks for your reply. Homework is a big issue but luckily not personal hygiene so far. Bedtime has alway been tricky but better now that she can stay quietly in her room and read or draw.

I hope your daughter gets the help she needs. It sounds as if it may have been a long process for you.

The PDA lightbulb moment for us was when I discovered the PDA Society’s PANDA approach and realised that all their suggestions were the techniques we had stumbled on ourselves and knew worked. You don’t need a diagnosis to try them out and see if they work for your family too?

Our experience was that communication and social differences didn’t seem a thing for us until the end of primary and into secondary where it became much more noticeable (because peers had matured so the comparison was clearer).

Agree about anxiety being the driver. My child’s traits seemed entirely manageable when they weren’t feeling anxious about “big” stuff going on. In hindsight I can see that the particularly bad times were just before transition to primary and from year 5 when thinking ahead to secondary school.