Schools for Autistic 14yr old

[Sam966]

Hi - wondering if anyone can recommend good schools in west London for 14 year old. He’s currently in special school and refusing to go. He’s very bright, highly motivated to learn as long as it’s what he wants to learn but quite scattered. He struggles to demonstrate his learning by writing it down but is very knowledgeable, often ahead of his year group - although at other times he’s behind. As I say, quite scattered and a bit of a conundrum for most schools. Also got ADHD as well as autism. Fun, quite inappropriate sense of humour, and is prone to being bullied. Wants to be sociable but struggles and needs loads of support around that.
Our dilemma is that we feel the special school is a bit too special for him, so basically he’s got no pals. But in less supportive settings he can struggle with demands, feel overwhelmed and struggles socially unless he’s got an absolute best friend who he sticks to like glue. We really don’t know what to do. Whether we move him, which could be disruptive plus we fought like hell to get him into special, or stick it out in the hope that things change. He’s such an unusual bag of contradictions it’s really difficult to find the right place. Just asking really to see about others’ school experiences.

I would look at all schools, SS and MS. IMO, it is much more about the individual school than a blanket all SS would be better or all MS would be better. Although when looking at MS, you would need to take into account the demands in Y10 and Y11 can increase considerably.

Depending on where in West London you are, you could look at Orange Tree school, Odyssey House, The Rise, Mount House, Wentworth College (would be for Y10 onwards).

Have you spoken to the school about the social side of things?

Does DS socialise with people from outside of school? If not, would he join an extra-curricular club?

Thank you! They all look good, esp Mount House. Do you know anything about Burlington House? Is that any good for non-dyslexic autistic kids? School said that friendships are always tricky at special schools because it’s limited and people live so far apart..seems that’s just the way it is?

Personally, from what you describe in your OP, I don’t think Burlington House will work for DS.

Friendships can be more difficult in SS, but sometimes that isn’t the case. Although it often involves more parental involvement than for DC in MS.

I didn’t mention it in my first post because I thought the other schools were more likely to be suitable, but since you mention Burlington House I thought I would. In the same group as Burlington House is Holmewood. I suspect DS may not feel at home there, though.

Tricky but Canbury Kingston I liked. Not a special school but not MS. It’s in the middle almost

Depends how he would be compared to a MS child within his year but Halliford has a lot of Sen boys but sw

”Refusing” to go in maybe he is struggling more than you think.

Maybe an online school if he wants to do it? Then he can picks what he wants in the comfort of his home without the added stress of other people

Interesting comments re Burlington house, yes maybe it would be too conservative, too much like a traditional public school.

thank you for suggestion re Canbury Kingston. It looks really good, also.

its so difficult to know what’s going on with refusal. Maybe we just wait it out and see how things go…perhaps you’re right, though, thinking about it. I can see that possibly it’s actually overwhelming even a very supportive environment and he needs a break at home so doesn’t go.

this whole school business with SEN kids is so heartbreaking. There doesn’t seem any solution that’s truly perfect. Every option comes with compromise

I would avoid Mount House School if DS is prone to bullying. Holmewood now takes in children with far greater needs, which from your description isn't what you're looking for.

@Weedus sorry you have had a bad experience with Mount House. It is a shame as I know some DC with SEN who have been bullied elsewhere were/are happy there. I agree about Holmewood; it is why I didn’t originally mention it and only did so in response to OP mentioning BH.

My son whose a little younger than yours failed to get a place at Burlington House recently (ASD/ADHD) he's very capable academically, not disruptive but can sometimes struggle with social communication . We were recommended to look at Holmewood instead which is part of the same company, the Cavendish group, they offer GCSEs and A Levels so might be worth researching and have pupils coming in from all over London. It's especially hard for those kids who straddle between MS and specialist, there are so few schools that cater for them. I looked at Canbury a couple of years ago and quite liked it, just a bit too far for us.
Do hope you find a resolution, school refusal must be so stressful to deal with.

Thank you. I'll look at Holmewood, if they do GCSEs etc. and see what I think. Have also taken a look at Odyssey in London, but it seems they are going through a transition of some sorts? Lots of staff leaving/internal conflict. Anyone got a kid there who knows a bit more?

If you think Odyssey House would meet DS’s needs, I wouldn’t rule it out. It is a relatively new school and lots of new SS go through a state of flux at some point in the first years.

We're looking at Odyssey and they say they have a lot of enquiries at the moment - they look great, but they're very new so I'd love to know more from anyone who has a child there.