Alternative school for neurodiverse DD in Southwest London/Surrey

[CarbonArtist]

12 year old DD is in Year 7 at an Outstanding co-ed comprehensive in Southwest London. Everyone raves about how wonderful the school is, but she absolutely hates it. She is getting quite depressed and starting to fall behind academically. DD is a smart girl and has never struggled previously, but is just not coping with the size of the school (1500 pupils), the routines, the discipline, and the rumbustious attitude of some of the kids. The teachers are busy and teach 300+ pupils a week. DD feels as though they don't care, she misses the more nurturing environment of her primary school.

DD has quite significant mental health needs and is currently undergoing an assessment for Autism and ADHD (we've been told it's very likely she has both). However, she doesn't have an ECHP.

We are looking for a new school for her. We don't have loads of money for school fees, but will find a way to go independent if that's necessary to get the right environment for her.

We are currently looking at the Canbury School in Kingston, but would love to know if there are other schools that might be suitable?

Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Thanks for replying, @Thelasttea

DD is on the CAMHS waiting list for an Autism/ADHD assessment, but we were told to expect a 2 year wait. She's going downhill fast, so we've decided to go private. We've just started the process, I'm anticipating she'll have a diagnosis within a month or so.

She's just had a pre-assessment, we're waiting on the report and will then proceed with the full assessment. Her Dad and I were initially skeptical that she is neurodiverse, but all the professionals (CAMHS, school, the consultant paediatrician we are seeing privately) are telling us she clearly has needs in this area so we are now accepting it and going with it. Her mental health, which is terrible, is my main concern.

We won't make a definite decision about changing schools until her assessment is done, but we're keen to start exploring options so that something can be put in place before the start of Year 8.

No, she's not disruptive. From what I gather, at school she's very withdrawn, she hides away and the teachers don't notice her much. She doesn't misbehave and achieves mediocre but adequate marks, so flies under the radar, as it were.

They are bigger than Canbury, but you could look at Frensham Heights, Kingswood House and Hampton Court House. All much smaller than the current school though. Not quite the same as Canbury’s offer but worth a look.

Have you requested an EHCNA? Getting an EHCP could open other options.

Yes, we are in regular contact with the school. It's a great school but I think not the right fit for DD. They have a formula for success which works extremely well for most pupils, but DD is not thriving.

Thank you for these suggestions, @StrivingForSleep , I'll look into them.

I've thought about asking for an EHCNA once her Autism/ADHD assessment is completed. Is it a very long process? I'm concerned about wasting time when her mental health is so precarious. Also, I wonder if she wouldn't meet the threshold for an ECHP as, superficially, she appears to be functioning well. But I'd like her to have an ECHP as it opens up more options, e.g. she could apply for Limpsfield Grange in Surrey (a state secondary for autistic girls).

You can request an EHCNA now. You don’t need to wait until after the ASD/ADHD assessment. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

You may have to appeal, but from what you describe, you can get an EHCP for the needs you describe. The first threshold to consider is that for an EHCNA. It is relatively low - a) has or may have SEN, and b) may need SEN provision to be made via an EHCP. From your brief posts, DD meets that threshold.

The process takes 20 weeks if you don’t have to appeal - LAs often think they can ignore the timescales but parents can take enforcement action if the LA breaches them. Unfortunately, some have to appeal, sometimes more than once, which means it takes a lot longer. You shouldn’t let that put you off. It doesn’t stop you seeking further support in the meantime. It doesn’t stop you seeking another placement in the meantime either if that is what you decide to do.

@Thelasttea there's been a bit of name-calling, but she's not being bullied. She has a small but solid circle of friends who are also neurodiverse and so 'get' her.

The issue with her mental health is that her mood is often very low and she has self-harmed several times. She sees an ELSA every week in school, but it doesn't seem to be helping much. I've wanted to get her a therapist, but she has refused to engage until now. I'm going to try to get her to see a private therapist at the first opportunity, as she seems open to it now that the Autism/ADHD assessment process has begun.

She attends school every day.

Thank you, @StrivingForSleep , this is really useful information. I'll get the ball rolling this week.

Have you looked at more house school in Chelsea, in between Knightsbridge and Sloane Square

Thanks, @Stuffragette , I’ll add More House to my list to research further.