Unhappy with DD school- do we move?

[Blossombeanie]

Hi all- needing some help

my DD is in year 1 in a large primary. She has the ADOS assessment soon and will likely be diagnosed ASD. I’ve found her school quite dismissive when I’ve tried to address the fact that DD does not like school, frequently cries at home after and begs not to go in morning. They say she is happy when she is there and has friends. I agree she has a couple of friends and is popular but she doesn’t seem to enjoy it at all, although she hates it a bit less than she did initially. School have also made comments about her needs being nothing compared to other kids in the school etc. the school have a good reputation and behaviour is good as is learning but they are quite old school. And DD loves the after school club.

We might have the chance to move her to a much smaller school for year 2 (it’s her nursery school so she will know the building and some kids in her class) but that means leaving the friends she has made and risking it being worse for her. Maybe she just doesn’t like school?

im stuck and need to choose soon - I don’t want DD to be miserable for the next 12 years

Any thoughts?

Have you spoken to the SENCO at the potential new school? Have you visited? I would be wary of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Smaller schools aren’t always better for SEN. You really have to look at the individual school.

In the meantime, I would request an appointment with the SENCO at the current school. Other DC having more complex needs doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be making reasonable adjustments for your DD and making their best endeavours to meet her SEN.

Thanks for your reply. I value your input.

I have met with the depute head and she has agreed an enhanced transition for year 2 and also agreed to place my DD in with her friend next year. I guess I feel they could be more nurturing and it concerns me that they don’t seem to realise how highly masking she is and have been quite dismissive. This worries me re later on when she will struggle more socially due to more complex social situations. But actually she is doing ok- she just doesn’t like school.

maybe I should of mentioned the smaller school links into a much better secondary school which is a consideration.

I would request another meeting with the SENCO. The school should be providing more support.

I would make the decision based on now/the immediate future rather than secondary. A better secondary school isn’t always better for SEN. And much can change in 5 years.

Thank you

Hi @StrivingForSleep

thanks for your input on this board and thread.

Would you say it is important for senco involvement even though school are saying child is fine in school? I have recently had a conversation with the dr who has said my DD will likely be diagnosed with both adhd and asd. Need levels are quite demanding at home but shes ok when she’s in school (again just doesn’t want to go etc).

Yes, the SENCO should be involved. What you describe shows DD is not ‘fine’ in school. The school just isn’t recognising the signs or recognising them, but not recognising them for what they are.

Thanks Yes- I think not recognising them is more likely.