Hi all,
My 5yo is in Reception and was suspended on Thursday for 1.5 days. He has just very recently been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, EHCP in place and gets around 1 hour 1:1. On Thursday I got a phone call from the office to say he needed to be collected immediately as he was being placed on a fixed term suspension. At that point I naively didn’t really know what that meant. The receptionist was really cold and rude, refused to tell me anything so I drove then ran to the school gates in a blind panic. I got to the office and waited for 15 minutes and still no sign of my son, I was really worried as I had no idea what had happened. I asked the staff if they knew where he was, I was met with “no”. After another 5 minutes my son came through a door with the senco and a TA. He was crying uncontrollably saying he wanted to go back to the lunch line where they had pulled him out from. The suspension was because he had become upset that a staff member in his class had been working with another child (he really likes her) and hit her on the head with an ipad and then hit the child she was working with in the face. I am not at all condoning his behaviour and accept it is awful. However this “staff” member is actually a 16 year old student, I have recently discovered, which concerns me due to my sons needs that is a difficult position for her to be put in within that setting? Or is this normal?
He struggles we also think with anxiety and attachment so he won’t do things like this out of malice, he is just intense and struggles to interpret his emotions so will hit out. Still, I am not condoning what he did and am always trying to work with him on his feelings and channeling emotions.
I had a chat there and then with the senco and burst into tears, was just generally shocked and bewildered so left the room and my son was sitting on the floor of the hallway with his TA eating his lunch, his main teacher also appeared. I then had to navigate getting him out of the school as he wasn’t ‘finished’ and was extremely distressed as he had no idea why I was there and kept saying “no mummy the playground now, why are you here”. It was horrible and uncomfortable them all standing around me and obviously my son being in distress.
Husband and I had a meeting with senco and his main teacher on Friday afternoon and they went through all the things they are doing (which we have heard before) and they were tight lipped about the suspension, but we also have a meeting with the head to discuss how they dealt with it as I understand it wasn’t their decision. I understand why the suspension had to happen but I don’t accept how it was handled and it could have been handled more sensitively. We also made suggestions of things that we could do, not even them, such as social stories that could aid my son at school. His teacher said his issue is relationships not the structure of the school day and he isn’t resistant to doing learning etc. His teacher was a little odd in the meeting when giving me an example of something, her showing a staff member from another school around one day, then adding in “because you know, we are an outstanding school”. It was odd and had zero relevance to what we were talking about. Felt it was kind of like well all your complaining and distress about this situation but we are outstanding.
We have EHCP review meeting in June and paediatrics appointment with consultant in August.
Advice and opinions welcome, has anyone been through the same and what was the outcome? I am aware if he does anything further they will just keep suspending before expelling? And potential specialist provision instead to better meet his needs?
I just feel so lost and bereft with it all x