Really confused by school suggesting dd has neurodiverse traits

[QuirkyLlama]

Dd is bright (very in fact and is also good at art and English) she has friends but hates school and homework. She’s in yr 7.
I’ve always put her down as a perfectionist and she’s sometimes quite self critical and this causes her anxiety at school. I also think she may be hormonal and the transition to secondary school is difficult for her as she doesn’t shine so much anymore.
She’s also had some stuff going on at home (death of grandparent and illness of another)

I assume schools are pretty good at picking up things like this but could they be wrong? Am I in denial?

I know no one can give me any answers, but if anyone has any experience or knowledge, I’d really appreciate some guidance on navigating this.

What sort of things are school saying that they have noticed or she’s struggling with? Have you met with the SENCO to discuss next steps?

It does sound like you are going through a difficult time as a family. Sorry to hear that and it’s bound to have an impact on all of you.

Girls who are ND are usually better at trying to fit in or have special interests which might seem quite typical. They can mask especially when at school or in public and this leads to stress and anxiety.
Secondary school often shows up any difficulties, differences or social communication and interaction needs.

If you or school want to explore a diagnosis just remember she is still the DD you know and love. Waiting lists are usually long. They may just want to make some adjustments or look at interventions. Better to know now than for her to struggle moving forward. Good luck.

Schools aren’t qualified to diagnose, so yes, they can get suspicions wrong. However, if they are suggesting a referral for assessment, I would listen, especially with what you say in your post.

Thank you. School don’t seem to be chasing for a diagnosis. I’ve heard about the masking thing but there’s nothing that happens at home that would make me think she was struggling with masking all day? Except for her telling me how much she hates school and wishing someone would destroy it one way or another. I put it down to her being a bit of a drama queen.
Of course, I won’t feel any differently about her. I love her and just want to support her.
I’m just so confused.