A random one that has me perplexed, someone may have been in a similar situation and found a solution. I think I have tried everything I can think of.
5 year old, ASD, probable ADHD, high demand avoidance, high non compliant personality.
When I used to do school pickups he would always want to run onto the reception play park even though they are not allowed and not want to come off. Then we got into a routine of going out the gates to the tuff tray for play, then would eventually make our way home, playing chase, etc to keep him interested, it quite often involves a change of direction, any direction that he picks even the opposite way. Sometimes if something dysregulated him he would run back to school and play in the yard again until he decided it was time to leave again, even after everyone had gone home.
A couple of month ago, it started every night. he came out of school, would play with others, then we played on the way home, then he would go back to school in a huff, me chasing after him trying to stop him. Then it can take me another 30 minutes to get him to leave.
We play chase, bad guy - police officer, monsters - aliens, music to dance to, I tell him daddys home,theres ice cream waiting, the pets are waiting...ive tried so many things but he knows he will get those things half an hour later so the reward isnt big enough. Odd times something will work, but not the next night! Sometimes he is running erratically around as he doesnt want to leave, into the car park etc, me chasing him and if I get hold of him for safety, he hits me or just falls to the floor. I can't make him leave.
I have started picking him up 15 minutes earlier, it worked for the first few days.
Now its back to, lets have play time then the crowds come and the children come out, so I am no further forward.
Tonight I was trying to get him to leave before parents came but he was playing with a younger child picking their sibling up (which wouldnt be a problem if he left after) but a teacher then came over and said I bet you cant chase mammy all the way home after we had been stuck there awhile, he said he could so I said well show me. That was it we were racing off, super sonic boom, camouflage gear, smoke screens, all imaginative play, we got a good distance nearer home, thought we had it in the bag. Then he stopped and complained I hadn't let him catch me soon enough. So he turned around, I started saying well come and catch me etc but he ran back all the way to school, then started playing again, back to square one, everyone is leaving. I said I havent met that teacher (near the exit) can you introduce me, so he took me over, thought I had it again, but then he ran back to climb on a wall again in the middle of the playground. He finally decided he wanted to leave and we got home eventually, again playing games.
This is happening every night now, back and forth, different scenario every night, but mostly play, won't leave, or play, leave and goes back or we end up going on a trek all over to get home. I try everything in my head I can think of to get him to decide he wants to leave. I'm sick of staying in school for 30 minutes, looking like a fool infront of everyone , bargaining with him :-) sometimes getting hit. Then them seeing me leave only to run back past them 10 minutes later, we look slightly crazy lol. And when he decides he wants to leave, can just run out at speed, me squeezing through people to catch him as theres the car park there, he can just run across it once hes decided to go.
I'm clueless on it, he definitely won't wear reins or anything.
I don't lose my temper with him or push him or rush him, even though it might be cold, raining, i might need to get the tea on or I might have just had a really busy day and want to get home.
Someone may have been stuck in this dilemma once :-)