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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Advice needed

3 replies

Smiler2023 · 31/03/2025 17:20

My son is almost 6 years old. He is on the ASD pathway and is now only awaiting MDT.

Lately his behaviours is getting so bad to the point I'm considering telling him not to do the things I actually want him to do. The other day was so miserable for us both that it ended up in him sobbing on his bedroom floor saying "what is it inside me making me doing this I need to know" that's just not normal for a 5 year old. (sorry I hate the word normal but don't know what else to use) when he was saying it it sounded like real pain in his heart like real regret he didn't want to behave the way he does. It absolutely broke my heart. Every now and again he says things like he doesn't feel he's in control of himself.

I really don't know what to do or is he just 5 is he autistic? is it adhd? is it pda?

My eldest child is autistic we didn't realise until he was 9. But he displays the total opposite to his younger brother.

Abit of a further insight to my 5 year old.

Restricted diet will only eat set foods in set places. Only a variety of 10-15 foods. Only eat set brands also.

He is meeting all of his milestones and is very well behaved in school.

At home he can't keep still at all ever since he was a baby he has constantly been on the move. When people say there children climb the walls he literally does.

Over friendly and over familiar with new people

Can't play independently at home.

Obsessed with physical touch and skin contact and smelling people (mainly me) but other close relatives also.

Obsessed with dinosaurs he will often get them out to line them up and then just leave them

Enjoys family games but can't wait his turn takes over.

He used to hate anything loud now everything has to be loud TV, radio etc

Doesn't like change of routine.

Just to add when I took him the Dr's age 2.5 I took him for a ear infection. I did have concerns about behaviour but told myself he's just two when we left the Dr's the Dr asked is anybody looking at his behaviors I was so relieved he asked and had noticed. In the appointment he had tried to eat the Dr's shirt, undress the Dr, go through all his personal possessions, took pictures off the wall because he didn't like how they looked and a few other things and now this is where we are. When i ask school for support all I get told is well he's fine in school so there isn't anything we can do.

Am I doing the right thing getting him assessed? Or is he just 5? Should I be going down the adhd route? Although they have said they won't consider him for that until age 7. I don't know If I'm letting society get into my head with the whole he's just 5 thing stop labelling him etc
Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
StrivingForSleep · 31/03/2025 19:20

It sounds like further assessment is a good idea, especially with an older autistic sibling.

It sounds like DS has some sensory issues. Not all areas commissions sensory OT on the NHS now, but if your area does, and the MDT doesn’t include that, it is worth requesting a referral. Some find the Out of Sync Child book helpful. Do you have any sensory equipment at home?

Have you tried PDA strategies? Some find the Declarative Language Handbook helpful.

Request another meeting with the SENCO. There are things they can do. And it is highly likely DS isn’t ‘fine’ in school. If school life was easier, home life would improve too. If the SENCO isn’t helpful, speak to the HT. If that doesn’t work, complain.

Smiler2023 · 01/04/2025 18:02

StrivingForSleep · 31/03/2025 19:20

It sounds like further assessment is a good idea, especially with an older autistic sibling.

It sounds like DS has some sensory issues. Not all areas commissions sensory OT on the NHS now, but if your area does, and the MDT doesn’t include that, it is worth requesting a referral. Some find the Out of Sync Child book helpful. Do you have any sensory equipment at home?

Have you tried PDA strategies? Some find the Declarative Language Handbook helpful.

Request another meeting with the SENCO. There are things they can do. And it is highly likely DS isn’t ‘fine’ in school. If school life was easier, home life would improve too. If the SENCO isn’t helpful, speak to the HT. If that doesn’t work, complain.

So we have a spinning chair thing that really helps sensory stepping stones and the blow up nut thing

Thank you I will check the books out

OP posts:
StrivingForSleep · 01/04/2025 18:20

DS might find a cuddle ball, bodysok and weighted blanket/vest helpful. If you have the funds or can find one second hand, he might like a steamroller.

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