Behaviour

[Mummyof4children]

Hi I’m at a point in life where I’m just like why me my child’s special school is referring her to behaviour team at school and it’s almost like they look at me and think it comes from me which it don’t I feel hopeless like I’m losing an endless battle please tell me it gets better I feel to give up

Try to see this as a positive. Hopefully the behaviour team will be able to observe your daughter and suggest some strategies.
These can be shared and if you are struggling with her behaviour at home, the strategies should help.

Most parents blame themselves for a range of issues or difficulties. This is usually more common for parents of children with additional needs.

Sounds like you really need some help and support. I would speak to staff at school and hopefully they can reassure you, offer advice and signpost you to sources of help.
Do you have family or friends to help you or is there any respite available in your area?
Try to be kind to yourself. Maybe see your GP about low mood?

You could try posting on here to ask about any specific behaviour at home.

It’s almost like the school are looking at me because of her behaviour the stuff they say she does at school she doesn’t do at home so I find it so weird

This is really common, children behave one way at home and another at school. They will know this.
Often it can be because there are more demands in school, lots of noise and children who may behave in an unpredictable way.
How old is she?

She’s almost 10 it seems the school are pointing fingers at me and home life even tho she doesn’t show the behaviour they say she does at school I just wanna sit with her in school to see what actually goes on

It is a poor special school who thinks difficulties at school = a problem with the parents. Sounds like you need an early review of DD’s EHCP. What support is DD receiving? Has the school worked out the triggers?

No they say it happens at random and there are no reason for her behaviour and there really concerned about it we only just done her yearly ehcp review the behaviour issues comes up in the meeting but not as far as referring her to the behaviour team

What support is DD currently receiving? Have you had the decision following the AR meeting yet? If so, what, if any, amendments is the LA proposing to make to address DD’s unmet needs?

There will be a trigger or triggers. They school just isn’t spotting them. Have they kept a detailed diary and completed ABC charts?

They have tried everything to reward chats to get to chose what u want on a Friday in school want confused me is how is she able to do these behaviours if there is so many adults to do many kids in a class

Reward charts don’t work for some DC with SEN. For some they are actively harmful.

I actually don’t know what to anymore her mainstream school said they can’t meet her needs so that’s why she’s in special school now seems they can’t meet her needs either

What support is DD currently receiving? Does she have SALT and OT (including sensory OT) input? Does she have any mental health input? When did an EP last have any involvement? Does DD have any 1:1?