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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

EHCP plan

2 replies

ForAquaQuoter · 12/03/2025 21:26

hi everyone,

A bit of background…my daughter is 7 years old. She was seen By a consultant who felt she had ADHD was going to await school questionnaire and then diagnose. He retired by the time it got sent back she was then passed onto an ADHD nurse, whilst the score scored high for inattentive adhd, she scored borderline for hyperactivity and impulsiveness therefore she was not happy to give a adhd diagnosis as of yet (although there was a lot of contradictory elements I had to question, and still find myself raising my brow at some of the things she suggests).
they think she is more autistic than adhd and is awaiting an ADOS assessment.
My daughter struggles with school and although they feel she is doing ok, every single morning I am physically and verbally abused by her. She struggles if she hasn’t got her 1 best friend in school resulting in a meltdown, struggles with other children, is behind academically needing focus groups, she struggles to communicate when she needs a break (movement breaks were offered but have asked for her to ask for them- which is hard when she can’t communicate properly?), concentration isn’t great, struggling to process instructions, sometimes needs a mealtime assistant to prompt her to eat her dinner as she will end up distracted, struggling with other children - had an independant table but since has been moved off it without letting me know? Fighting with others, lashing out verbally at others. Why are they not seeing what I am seeing? Am I going crazy?
I just think she needs more support- I don’t know what but just something. She is so distressed and sobs every morning before school I genuinely think she struggles with the setting and needs short bursts of learning. I’m thinking maybe a EHCP? She has an IEP and when I mentioned if she could be a candidate for a EHCP they said she wouldn’t be approved and there are children much worse than her that they are fighting for an EHCP.

OP posts:
1995SENNDMUM · 13/03/2025 09:31

You've nothing to lose by doing a parental application for an EHCP, it's really not unheard of for a school to try to put parents off.

StrivingForSleep · 13/03/2025 10:56

It isn’t uncommon for DC to appear to be ‘fine’ at school (hint: they aren’t really) and explode at home. So common in fact it is known as the coke bottle effect. It signifies unmet needs at school. If school was easier, home life would improve too.

Request an EHCNA yourself. It isn’t uncommon for schools to incorrectly tell parents their DC doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCP. Other DC’s needs are irrelevant as to whether to whether your DD meets the legal threshold.

In the meantime, request a meeting with the SENCO. The school needs to provide more support now. They must make reasonable adjustments and they must make their best endeavours to meet DD’s SEN. For example, they don’t need to wait for DD to request movement breaks. They can relook at seating and placement within the classroom. Do they have anyone who can support emotional literacy work and Zones of Regulation? Have they looked at how to support friendships? Have they looked at how they can ease the transition in the morning?

Some people find the book The Explosive Child and the Out of Sync Child helpful.

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