My son started preschool attached to a Catholic primary school in September 2024 and has struggled to adapt to the expectations of school (e.g. circle time, activities led by adult). We suspect he may have SEN and are awaiting diagnosis.
We had a rough first few months with the school imposing half days on him with no notice due to their concern around his fussy eating, difficultly toileting (he is fully potty trained but finds it hard to use unfamiliar toilets) and his inability to sit still for circle time.
Despite the rough start the school SENCO seemed to be really supportive in getting him an EHCP. Within 3 months he was back up at full days due to meeting targets and seemed to be making excellent progress. Before making our school choices for reception I asked the school for their honest opinion as to whether they thought they could support my son, they answered that until the EHCP is finalised they wouldn't be able to say for sure (EHCP is still in assessment stage so nothing finalised). Then fast forward to last week when we met the school again, they decided to be "brutally honest" and say that they think my son will struggle too much in their school and in a nutshell implied they wouldn't be able to support. Why would they tell us this now after we've put down our school choices?! I asked them to be honest with me before and they couldn't answer me so why now? And of course we put their school as 1st choice because our son is settled there and he enjoys it.
Not only this but in their reports as part of the EHCP process the school seem adamant on painting my son as a solitary boy who doesn't enjoy the company of others and prefers to play alone. This couldn't be further from the truth, at school drop off and pick up he happily plays with other children and others excitedly run up to him to play. Outside of school he thrives off playing with others and is super friendly with other children. Does he change into a totally different child once he goes into school? I don't know but thought this was unlikely. Why do they want to paint him in this way?
It's clear they don't want him, they didn't from day 1. I wish they were honest with me before I made school choices because I would have put alternatives down, now I'm trapped.
I'm sorry for the long post but my mind is absolutely scrambled. Would appreciate some rational and kind words of wisdom 🥰 thank you in advance.