Y3 Exclusion - any useful contacts / advise

[MalpaisCR]

I have name changed due to utter shame on so many levels

My y3 7 year old son was excluded today until Monday.

The behaviour was undesirable and directed at adults.

He does not have an EHCP and the school kept dragging their feet about an assessment (I am aware we can do one and will)

We await private SLT And OT reports due this week to support it. Both say he is highly complex

However my question is..... if we know he has needs and complex ones,( his undesirable behaviour is triggered by his perception of being unfairly treated) .... We have just under 3 years of dialogue with school on his needs and at least 1.5yrs of me pointing out his triggers / patterns.

Is it worth doing anything about the exclusion or instead just focusing on the future.

I am sick with worry and the letter paints a dreadful picture. This behaviour is very new (today) and have had umpteen discussions with school that his needs are not enough for XYZ support BUT TODAY they exclude him

Oh and per title any useful contacts to reach out to or links to websites that I can read?

Many thanks

Ipsea and sossen would be good places to look for advice.

The exclusion, while not good right now, may be a positive in terms of securing an ehcp. It is evidence that school are not meeting his needs through reasonable adjustments at sen support level.

Have you made a request for ehc needs assessment already?

Thank you

Needs assessment - NO not yet, part of the issue i have with the school with regard to contradicting evidence and actions

EHCP: yes indid wonder if the positive would be unequivocal evidence for this. Ironic though.

Really not sure if worth "complaining" and spend energy doing that rather than spending it pushing forward.

Will try IPSE and sossen in the morning

Can't sleep, totally overwhelming. My mental stability has crumbled.

Thanks again

Just wanted to send a message of support and perhaps also hope. We had a horrible meeting with my DS's nursery about this time last year where they basically said "we don't know what to do with him, nothing's working, we don't know how to go forward." It was pretty much the step before kicking him out. I cried in the meeting. I cried at home. I remember saying to my husband how ashamed I felt, and what a crap parent I must be.

Anyway, I got them to put everything they said in a statement, applied for an EHCNA the same week. We did have to lodge an appeal (LA conceded), but he got an EHCP this autumn and is now doing well at school. Evidence that the nursery had been doing everything, and more, possible to put support in place and he was still struggling was a big part of this. Plus the Educational Psychologist seeing exactly what was going on with him.

Things can get better. A bleak picture now is not forever. If ADHD is a possibility, ADHD Embrace have some great resources. Absolutely second IPSEA as the best place for learning about the ECHP process and what LAs have to do by law.

Thank you. I hope this is the bleak part and the silver lining is they can't now refute this plus all the professional assesments in school we have paid for.

Would really like the EHCP and then to explore alternate settings OR just to use all the professional reprts to know what alternate settings would be suitable investigate and move / pay if private

My eyes are puffy. I can't eat. He is doing his school work so diligently and calm I feel like a failure

The hard part is being caught in this power vacuum. I can't take control as its not me that needs to action (although we will if we have to) we wait for reports and keep chasing school. That's probably why I want to know if I should "complain" because it gives me a goal / power and control! Maybe just cathartic.

I am angry at school that their adult actions (grabbing him and forceing him / dragging him away) triggered his fight or flight and he lashed out.

I have a Sossen walk in near me on Monday that I will go to as I've taken Monday off work too.

Thanks for the reply. Glad to hear the you got to the other side.

Sorry for the rant xx

Firstly, is this a formal suspension with paperwork for it? Or is it an unlawful, informal exclusion?

Reading the statutory suspension and exclusion guidance will be helpful to ensure the correct procedures have been followed.

Submit the EHCNA request ASAP. You can send additional information later. You do not need SALT and OT reports before submitting the request.
Even in situations where the exclusion was justified, and I don’t know if this situation was because there isn’t enough information to comment, it can be helpful to make representations when the school could have done more to support DS e.g. they could have already requested an EHCNA. For help with this, I second IPSEA. You might find this website helpful too - a lot is focused on permanent exclusion, but some of it is helpful for suspensions too.

Suspensions can be justified if the behaviour is causing a safety issue, and indeed can be a good thing (even if it feels awful now) as it shows evidence of unmet needs so long as it's a formal documented suspension.
Saying that what leaps out at me was the grabbing him and forcing him / dragging him away bit BEFORE the behaviour. Adults should only physically restrain a child (or indeed touch them at all) if they're harming (or clearly about to harm) themselves or others.

You are not a failure. He is calmly doing his work because he feels safe with you. You are a positive in your boy's life.

What do you mean about dragging him? Did they give you a written account of the incident that led to the exclusion?

Thanks all.

Just to be clear his actions were wrong towards the adults and if either of my other 2 children did this I would have no issue with suspension as the actions do justify this

My complaint would be their utter lack of urgency or fobbing me off as I pled for more help... I went down a list of things to put in place and met with no no / not for him / needs not high enough

I have professionals seeing him in class and within or less than 5 mins say they saw his needs were high and complex and adjustments needed asap.

Senco almost laughing at the peadatrician (specialising in ND) list of things to put in place

I mean it goes on and on this nonsense of contradicting and "that's not for him...."

I even sat with the teacher and senco infront of an EP last Thursday advocating for both the teacher and my son .... and still "IF we apply for a NA" which floored me

So yes maybe a silver lining to this in that they can't dispute his needs.

So what happened? Don't want to go into too much detail as I'm so overwhelmed and upset but essentially they were outside in a class he was pushed by another child (the child's foot) made his clothes dirty. Climbed up high as upset and didn't listen to come down (assume this is partnofnhis make up/ fight flight mode)

Senco and another teacher come but he is then down playing in another area "trying to be happy" and grabbed his wrist... he says by force and dragged him saying "your x time is over"

So he lashed out (kicked) and defended himself - in his head all justified. And also verbally abused them (unfortunately language learned from another child and I can't of course judge but my son decided to use it) staff are traumatised and shaken by my 7 year old and he is suspended.

I won't justify his behaviour but I can appreciate it.

I was not there i can not comment that much but seems the staff who i am told are all highly trained in high functioning needs are fucking not as they didn't approach the situation about claiming up high and not listening well.

So not really able to meet his needs ... of which last week were not high enough for more help than he has.

I'm just livid and every time i read the letter I am sobbing. it reads ike a monster and he isn't. He was triggered and provoked in a way he perceived unfair. I am failing him so badly.

Dh going to school tomorrow to discuss and I appreciate the points above and will note them as action points

We will fight this and get him his EHCP.

Thanks again and I've given far too much info xx

The SENCO and other teacher sound like they escalated the situation. I would certainly put everything in writing. Follow up all verbal conversations with emails so you have a paper trail.