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Help me with daughters sleep please

4 replies

TiredMum09 · 19/02/2025 11:59

My daughter is 2 and a half. She is diagnosed with ARFID, which we picked up on being a problem since we started weaning at 6 months. It’s been quite frankly awful and getting her the correct support has been near enough impossible. Under a long battle with local services she is now under Evelina Children’s hospital, who have been great. DD local paediatrician about a year ago mentioned ASD. I discussed a few things we were concerned about and he said sounds like ASD features, we are awaiting an assessment for her. One of these concerns was DD sleep. She has never slept through the night, and never slept longer than an hour at a time. She was BF from birth and up until she started eating her safe foods around age 1, all she did was BF, she refused fluids also, this is part of her ARFID. Because of this she has ended up very attached to me. She is a bloody nightmare to get to sleep, she is pinging off of the walls for hours, and once she eventually falls off to sleep, I get about half an hour before I am in and out of her room throughout the night. I give up in the end and bring her into our bed but even then she still wakes. She has not started nursery but will be starting September, which I am hoping will help. She has meltdowns constantly throughout the day, she has a 4 YO brother who is also being kept awake and getting upset by the constant screaming/crying. Everywhere and anywhere we go there is also some sort of meltdown. I would find it easier to recuperate if I had my evenings and some actual sleep. Her speech is not great either. I just feel so terribly bad for her and the whole situation breaks my heart over and over again each day. She hasn’t had an easy start to life. My partner does what he can at nighttime but it’s hard in the night when all I can hear is her screaming ‘mummy!’
Partner works and we don’t have much support.
Paediatrician has advised we try melatonin as well as Evelina. Can I please hear some positive stories because this is sort of our last option. We are just awaiting a prescription.

OP posts:
OhCrumbsWhereNow · 19/02/2025 14:16

Mine was like this (she's ADHD) and the only thing that worked was getting rid of bedtimes completely and co-sleeping. She was similar on food as well and was BF until 3.5 years and had a ridiculously restrictive diet.

She's now almost 16 and still has the weirdest food issues and mainly lives on ramen. Sleep we started on melatonin when she was 13 and it's been brilliant.

One gummy 30 mins before she goes to sleep and no more issues. We have recently increased the dose from 1mg to 2.5mg but she's also grown a lot taller in the last 3 years.

No negative side effects of any kind.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 19/02/2025 14:20

Honestly I would just ditch bedtime.

We had a rule that after 9pm parents were not available for interaction, and she needed to do something that didn't disturb others - so colouring, playing with dolls, books etc.

She then went to bed when we did.

The only thing I will say is that lack of sleep had zero effect on her behaviour and teachers were astonished she never had more than 6 hours a night as she was always bouncing around and never looked tired. I know some people have children who really can't function without the early nights and I'm not sure what the answer is.

Melatonin will help them get to sleep as long as they are trying and not fighting it, but it doesn't keep them asleep.

StrivingForSleep · 19/02/2025 17:27

Melatonin works well for lots of DC. It doesn’t work for all, but if that is the case for you, there are other possibilities to try.

Prolonged release melatonin works well for DS3 as long as he has enough exercise during the day.

DS1 takes prolonged release melatonin and immediate release. It helps but doesn't work brilliantly for him and he also takes other medication too.

SL22 · 25/04/2025 14:22

@TiredMum09
HI there , was just wondering did you get the melatonin in the end ? And if so did it help.? Thanks 😊

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