Sen life

[Cee3]

Not Sure if this is a rant or seeking advice or a bit of both. I have two children under 2 years apart, both have autism and adhd, both with severe needs and I’m really struggling with them both when my partners at work and I’m solo parenting.

we have no friends or family that can help. They cannot be in the same room as each other because they both vocally stim and set each other off which leads to really bad fights between them. So I’m running back and too all the time.

but it’s too much they still both smear eat things they shouldn’t climb. Our house has been made as safe as possible but yak now they still find stuff 😂🤷‍♀️.

they both self harm which is obviously distressing. Home life is so stressful. I feel like I’m not doing enough or spending time with them because I’m literally just going back and too.

my little girl is demand avoidant and has really bad anxiety and won’t leave the house unless it’s for school. I feel like my little boys needs gets overshadowed because I’m spending so much time with her.

im just so tired 😂

That must be so exhausting for you physically and emotionally.
Is there any access to respite in your area so that you can recharge? Any parent support groups where you could swap tips and share advice or just offload? Look on the Local Offer.

Are there any professionals involved who can suggest any strategies or adaptations at home? You know your children best but sometimes a fresh look from an outside perspective can help.

I know it must feel overwhelming but if you can try to focus on what is causing you and your children the most stress/ difficulty at home now and look for strategies or solutions. Sounds like them not being able to be in the same room needs unpicking although you seem to have identified the trigger.

Have you had access to any post diagnostic parent courses such as Early Bird Plus, Riding the Rapids? Hope you can get some support.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment by the disabled children’s team for DC.

Have you looked at what is available via your local short breaks offer?

Depending on DC’s needs, it is worth checking if either DC would qualify for children’s continuing care funding.

Are DC on medication?

Do DC have EHCPs? If so, what support, including therapies, is included in their EHCPs?

Have you had a recent home OT assessment?