Will try to keep this as short as possible, would really appreciate any experiences.
DS2 is 10, it's not been easy his whole life, he developed tics at the age of 2, delayed speech, violent outbursts, excluded from private nursery for a period, GP didn't believe anything was untoward as he made eye contact, i took him to an outdoorschool at huge expsense. He started mainstream school, eventually refered to CAHMS at the age of 6, I thought this was for tourettes syndrome, j didn't know anything about ASD, nursery had mentioned it once but when I spoke about it again, the manager said she had never suggested this. Struggled with all relationships at school other than 1 learning assistant, had no friends. I had regular meetings, excluded I think 4 times, reduced timetable, back to outdoor school, dozens of unofficial exclusions where i had to leave work and collect DS2 early, toileting issues. One unforgettable incident I came in to him laying on the floor crying and shaking, I picked him up and he immediately fell asleep on me, he was 7 or 8. During all of this I was studying a masters, looking after DS2 brother too, and I have been on my own for about 8 and a half years. I have changed jobs serval times to meet DS2 needs and now I'm earning more, working less and WFH.
We had a significant loss when out LL told me she was selling our home that none of us wanted to leave. We were homeless for a while then I bought a house, which had a lot of issues and which I am hoping to sell within the next year. I used a government scheme to buy for low income families as a first time buyer.
I didn't know about child disability payment until DS2 was 9. He was awarded highest care and mobility last year. I felt totally undeserving but was reassured that this isn't handed out as routine, I hadn't lied and provided letters from school, Ed psychology and play therapist. This was after DS2 was diagnosed with ASD&ADHD. Now, this where my mixed feelings come in. DS2 has hugely improved at school, they have a very relaxed approach, he is allowed to roam to a degree, their approach to him doing work has changed and now he has even started to build up a jotter of work (previously there was 1 or 2 pages in a whole year), he has got 2 friends after 5 years of none at all. The school now believe he will be fine going for an unsupervised school trip for 2 nights next year and even asked me if he had started taking medication.
Has the money made that much of a difference, was a such a terrible mother before, what happens when the money is gone, has part of my purpose gone, was this all made up, how will life look as DS2 gets older? Should he really have a diagnosis?