Extra curricular club discrimination

[Midlandmum123]

Does anybody else have this? My son is on the spectrum and is 5. I try to find him after school clubs and activities but all I get is clubs saying he isn’t ready or this isn’t the right place for him. My son attends mainstream school, verbal , able to join in with ‘normal’ and a happy boy. He can struggle with understanding rules of a game until he played it a few times and can cry easily if he is frustrated. He recently wanted to try kick boxing so I signed him
up to a local club. I made them aware he has ASD but he is very capable to join in. I observed sessions and he loved it and tried his best to join in . There were some moves he didn’t know and got bored a little waiting in lines( and about 10 other children his age did). He got upset when he lost or didn’t understand d a game( just a cry, no screaming or being physical so no danger to himself or others). My son also needed instructions repeating at times if they gave long instructions. After 3 sessions I was told he wasn’t allowed back as in their words ‘ he is too away with the fairies and they can’t do anything with him’. I did say I had observed and he did join in, fair enough he got fidgety in a line and sat down as did other children. The owner also said I might as-well just take him to a aoft play instead and made out he couldn’t do simple things like kick a pad. ( I would be the first to say that he wasn’t getting on well or a place isn’t suitable but this wasn’t the case) I was shocked at the rudeness ans my son burst into floods of tears when the man said he shouldn’t come back as he didn’t belong there/. Yet the other children that did the same things were not asked to not continue. I am getting so fed up of clubs and after school activities using autism as a way to not include children. They are happy to keep ‘normal children’ even if they behave worse than an autistic child. There is nothing out there for autistic children who just want to join in with their peers. He is begging me to go to another club but I can’t face another club treating him like that again, as a mother it breaks your heart when you just want your child to be given opportunities like their peers. Are there any clubs specifically that accept autistic children in the midlands area?

I am sorry you and DS have experienced discrimination.

It depends on the types of activities you want, but if DS would try football, look at ability counts sessions. Your county FA will be able to tell you where your nearest is.

Riding is often inclusive. You could look at the RDA.

Some gymnastics clubs run SEND sessions.

What about swimming? Could be done 1:1 if necessary.

You could contact your local parent carer forum. They may run or know of a general SEN session locally.

Sorry your son and you have had such a bad experience. My lovely 6 year old autistic grandson also attends mainstream school, is verbal but has a tendency to zone out and has some some communication difficulties. He goes to a Beavers group. He really loves it, joins in with the activities, has gained several badges and has been camping with them. His Mum has started helping out with the group generally but is hands off with my grandson. There are Beaver groups all over the country, so worth looking to see if there is one near you, although the child needs to be 6 before they can start.

My son sounds quite similar and I've found specialist 1:1 SEN swimming amazing for him. At first, I thought he might be "too able" (and he is one of the lower support needs kids I've seen attending) but the small setting and understanding instructors just make everything easier. It means nothing about the class is stressful for him or me.

Our local authority has a list of SEN/disability sport providers - might yours have similar?

Otherwise, I would ask in local groups for recommendations and call providers, asking if they've had experience with autistic kids and how they include them.

Whilst i also have a sen child (awaiting asd and adhd) i think you are being a bit unreasonable. There will always be activities that dont suit your child for various reasons. And 5 is very little still especially with asd or sen they can be like 2/3 their age making him more like a 3yo.

However dd did get excluded from brownies at 9 it was a bit traumatic as basically said they wouldnt take sen kids. A bit similar to what you are saying there were not huge issues - she just annoyed the leader. I helped a couple of times so i saw dd was similar to the others.

But having done rugby tots when dc2 was little some kids just arent ready to follow the instructions. 1 kid was summer born and 3 i think he was literally 'away with the fairies' and getting in the way too. Luckily it was a taster session and mum reasoised it wasnt something he was ready for.

As you say following instructions can be an issue with asd
This is a business and a kid crying etc might put other parents off sadly.
Are there any school after school clubs are they are more gently generally.
Swimming was also better as the instructions hardly change and its ability rather than age etc.
My other kid did well in scouting theres a big range of activities

I feel for you. I've always struggled to get my boy into a club or activity. I thought Beavers would have been good as he loves the outdoors. However the group he went to was not very inclusive. We tend to try and organise outdoor activities on family trips which works out well.

We have some SEND clubs in the area but as they have higher supervision ratios, they cost an arm and a leg (around £70 to £150 for a 1-2 hour session). DD only ever could cope with 1:1, so every extracurricular was a heavy investment and nothing we could do on a regular basis, only as a one of/short term treat. Music lessons were relatively affordable as 1:1 is the standard in music, and music tutorials are usually 30/45min short, so we did that throughout her life, but everything that is usually taught in groups and in 1 or 2 hour sessions becomes ridiculously expensive once they offer it 1:1 or in a smaller SEND group (we did archery, skiing, swimming, coding and gaming, tennis, riding, climbing - all fantastic fun and great/understanding leaders and dc did very well but financially not sustainable). You could try and get it from your LA as EOTAS provision if you have an EHCP.

Unless there is more to the OP, EOTAS is unlikely. OP would need to show the provision is reasonably required, and that it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school.