Can't catch a break - 7 year old amd ASD

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We are exhausted and I don't know where to turn. Ds is 7 and non verbal. For the past year he has been kicking, screaming, spitting, hitting. We try to avoid the triggers and at times it feels like it's completely random. It's even more difficult when it's out in public which puts us off going anywhere

Example: He was all smiles walking to school on Friday, then he threw himself on the floor and started to scream and kick. I physically could not get him up off the floor and people were tutting because we were in the way

We used to have help from family once a week however they have now refused and I completely understand why.

We both work. It is the only thing that keeps us sane really. We work the opposite days which allows one or the other to be with the kids. 2 CM's in the past said they could no longer take ds due to his behaviour which is why we now work opppsite days

Me and dh both look shattered every single day. It's like we have no soul anymore.

We have tried to sign up to those sen camps however we get told "we don't have staff capacity for 1:1" so that's not an option. Other than family help can anyone suggest something else that will help us get an hour or 2 break as I feel like we are running on fumes

Tia

Just to add - I signed up for local short breaks earlier today however i'm not holding out much hope as I have contacted some of the places directly before and they were unable to assist due to 1:1

Do you have a social worker?

you need to refer yourself to them, it’s not the same dept that deal with neglected children it’s specifically for disabled children, to get carers in and respite hours through direct payments or an agency.

They will carry out an assessment and then they’ll be with you every step of this parenting journey.
we had social services involved from this age as we were running on nothing. We didn’t have family or outside help, my son was too severe for clubs etc

over the years, we have respite during the week, direct payments for carers , it’s a game changer, give them a call, tell them you’re scared you won’t be able to cope without support.
This support will stay with you and change and evolve as your child gets older.

Thank you @Lesley25 I didn't even think of that. I will have a look online for a contact number. That is so reassuring to hear and i'm glad you are being supported. When you hear social services you inatantly think it's the same dept that deals with neglect but thank you for explaining they're different

I second social care assessments. A carer’s assessment for you and DH and an assessment via the children with disabilities team for DS. They can provide 1:1. On their website, the charity Contact has model letter you can use.

Does DS have an EHCP? What support, including therapies, is in there? Often improving school life, improves home life too.

Have you had a home OT assessment? This can help look at how the home can better meet DS’s needs and ensure safety.

For out of the house, some people find some or all of the following helpful: a wheelchair/SN buggy (even if DS can physically walk it can help to reduce overwhelm), sunglasses, ear defenders/noise cancelling headphones/music, hoody.

Keeping a detailed diary can help spot triggers. Some people find non-violent resistance resources/courses helpful.

If you have other DC, it is worth contacting your local young carers service. Some find speaking to Sibs useful too.

If DS has siblings, does he share a bedroom, or has he got his own?

pm me and I’ll help you look for the right number in your area and I’ll help you with what you need to tell them