Preschool flagged some issues

[Molly2023]

Hi everyone, just looking for some advice and a bit of a hand hold really. My 3.5 year old always met milestones/ development checks no problem until recently. We had massive issues potty training and a lot of his behavior regressed to baby / clingy behavior when I was heavily pregnant and has remained since when he's upset or looking for attention since his sibling was born in April. Before this, he was very curious about other children and very friendly when I stopped and chatted to people. Now he hates me chatting and actively pulls me away. Overall he's a lovely little boy but the preschool have flagged some concerns and have suggested we put our name down to get assessed as it could take years anyway. They did say this could all change in the next few months though but to keep an eye. The issues flagged were toilet training (we have weeks where we've no issues then a random bad day but for months it was tough going), not playing with other children, jumping and hand flapping and eating quickly. They also said although his language is great they weren't so sure about comprehension. He does the jumping/hand flapping at home when he's excited but I've never noticed him eating abnormally quickly. At play groups he will play with other children but I usually have to facilitate it. He loves adult attention and has brilliant conversational skills and a great memory. I have no idea what he's like in preschool though. He also never seems to mind me changing routines or plans. Basically the logically part of me knows that in the grand scheme of things if he ends up with a diagnosis it's not the end of the world. However, I'm so worried for what this could mean for him. It breaks my heart to think of him not being able to make friends etc. Anyone been through this where there child just settled? Could it just be that he's a shy or anxious child?

Try not to panic.

I've got a 12 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD at 7.

She's always had lots of friends.

She does have more subtle issues with friendships but she has bags of charm and they normally forgive her!

He is your lovely son and things will evolve in their own time.

Thanks a million for your reply. That's great your DD is doing so well. What age did she start showing signs of anything? I'm hoping that if there is something it's mild as have been give up until now

It's hard to say. I suppose we gradually began to notice from age 3 onwards that things were different for us compared to other parents.

Regression when parents have another child isn’t uncommon, so even if DS has does have additional needs, some of his current presentation may be down to his new sibling arriving.

It might be helpful for you to look at the Ages and Stages Questionnaires.

Thanks, that was a very useful suggestion. He's actually meeting most milestones no problem. The potty training was the first struggle we had with him and now obviously preschool flagging that he's not interacting with the other children is concerning. With us at home he does great imaginative play and much prefers playing with us than alone. He also loves playing with his baby brother and making him laugh