Changing autistic child’s school?

[ForAquaQuoter]

Hey everyone.

my daughter is 8yo. Shes been at her current school since reception, she has made a really close best friend and they have been joint at the hip since, she’s also a really lovely girl. She has other friends but the friendships are often rocky.

however, my daughter has some SEN needs (awaiting diagnosis of ADHD/Autism) and I feel the school just isn’t hearing us and helping my daughter as much as she needs. The school is rough, the children swear, shout, fight, and I just don’t feel she’s thriving, the class she is in is held back from KS1 with other SEN children so they’re all bouncing off eachother and my daughter is slipping through the net. Often resulting in her coming out in outbursts at home of frustrating and anger.

in addition, I have the same parent coming over and telling me about their squabbles (this one child was putting her book on top of my daughters and my daughter lost her temper and kicked her- which is not ok but how is it getting this far without invention?!) and the school isn’t doing anything to intervene.

I want to move her schools and she also wants too but just doesn’t want to leave her best friend. I’m so torn, this school is failing her (I won’t go into it all) but am I risking pulling her out and her not making other friends at a new school and also disrupting routine? Any help and advise would be appreciated!

Does DD have an EHCP?

Have you visited and spoken to the SENCO at the potential new school? I would do that before making a decision to make sure you won’t be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire because moving is a risk.

If you did move DD, you could still try to maintain the friendship with DD’s best friend out of school.

In the meantime, I would speak to the SENCO at the current school again. If that doesn’t work, speak to the headteacher.

Hey,

she has an IEP but no EHCP, there are so many children they struggle with in her class so she would be bottom of the list but she needs the help.

She had an observation where she sometimes spent a lot of time in her own company (even with said friend there) so I don’t know if she even minds her own company, she just likes to have a friend to chat too. She doesn’t understand friendship groups and is very much ‘this is my best friend, I can’t have other friends as she’s my friend’ if that makes sense!

SENCO do what they can but are not great- said shouldn’t move her because of disruption but if I feel that’s what’s best then so be it. They’re snowed under and it’s so tricky as I know many schools are. Did consider home schooling her but would want her to socialise and have friendships 😪

You can request an EHCNA yourself. Other DC’s needs are irrelevant as to whether your DD requires an EHCP.

Personally, I wouldn’t EHE, but children can be electively home educated and have friends and socialise.

I understand what you’re saying, but when mentioned to the school the teachers words were ‘she wouldn’t even get accepted for one, we have so many children who we desperately need one, she wouldn’t be a priority’.
I think keeping her there and fighting for extra help is my only option at this point

It isn’t uncommon for schools to incorrectly tell parents their DC doesn’t need or won’t get an EHCNA/EHCP. If you think one may be required, you should request an EHCNA yourself. You don’t need the school to agree. Other DC’s needs are irrelevant as to whether to whether your DD meets the legal threshold for an EHCNA/EHCP.