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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Need help with 5 year old ALN

1 reply

xxholr5xx · 01/01/2025 15:42

In desperate need of some coping strategies after a very difficult Christmas holidays. We have a DS (nearly 5) who has suspected autism and ADHD and is becoming difficult to manage. We’ve always believed he had autism traits from a tiny age but have always been given another reason for his behaviours (eg COVID) but since starting school is now showing what we’ve seen at home for ages. The autism we manage with now/next boards, visual timetables etc and can mostly cope with.
It’s the ADHD part we are at a loss with. Starting reception class has caused great difficulties and our son is currently on a reduced timetable (has been since October). He can suddenly flick into being a Duracell Bunny and no amount of talking, explaining, trying to shift his focus works. He jumps off everything, bashes into his twin brothers (3) and laughs when we tell him off. Next thing you know something has triggered him, a hysterical angry meltdown for nearly an hour happens and in the end he is left exhausted. He also refuses to listen at all to DH and completely blanks him throughout the day with every conversation which upsets DH.
Does anyone have any strategies on how to cope when the wildness kicks in and to listen to his Dad? Of course it is always crazy at busy times eg, teatime and I can’t constantly be with DS as one of our twins is already diagnosed autistic (attending special provision and needs lots of support) and our other twin is left to fend for himself. It is tearing the family apart as I’m exhausted from being a SAHM and awake through the night with one twin and my DH can’t cope with it all either.
TIA xx

OP posts:
Phineyj · 02/01/2025 16:51

Have you made a parental request for EHCP? Then you would (eventually) get reports such as educational psychology which should help with strategies and support in school at least.

The Ipsea website has a lot of useful information.

Part time timetables constitute an illegal exclusion by the way. Push back on that in the New Year. Make sure they give you paperwork each time they exclude him. That helps build up evidence for the EHCP.

We have an AuDHD 11 year old. Play therapy was useful when she was around 7 or 8. NVR training (for us) was useful too. Yvonne Newbold has good resources.

Books I found helpful were 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child (Bernstein) and The Explosive Child (Greene).

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