Me and DH have discussed the fact we think DD 9 may have ADHD - what next?

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The title says it all really. We don't know much about it, it was only meeting a new friend with medicated ADHD and discussing how he is affected and how his mind works, that made us look at each other, both thinking the same thing about DD. She has little empathy seemingly and isn't interested in listening to talking to other people about anything that doesn't involve her, loves being the centre of attention, never tired and hates going to bed, fidgets and can't sit still, very bright and observant. Top of her class for reading, writing and maths yet is completely incapable of remembering to brush her teeth every day, change her pants, put clean socks on before she puts her leggings on. She makes us late for school every single day. Getting her to go upstairs and get ready for bed every evening usually ends up with me screaming at her, yet I could give her Lego model to do that's for age 16 and over and she would sit there completely engrossed for 3 hours until she had completed it, she has so much determination. But this determination doesn't extend to the simplest of tasks that need doing every day. It was the inability to follow simple instructions that stood out as our friend is a genius level IT developer who can focus on a single task and not sleep or eat for over 24 hours he is so focussed, yet he told us he has a daily reminder on his phone to remind him to brush his teeth . Do you more knowledgeable folk think it sounds like possible ADHD and where should we start to get some help navigating this with her? In particular it's me struggling as I have a very different personality as I am a task motivated person. I have a methodical list/ timetable in my head of everything that needs doing before we go somewhere and I really struggle with the chaos that follows DD around seemingly! So I think if she does have ADHD and r could all benefit with help around dealing with it.

If you want your dd to be assessed for ADHD, you can choose between the private (short wait, expensive, especially for medication) or NHS pathway (several years wait). Both pathways will ask for the school's observations, so you should first contact your Senco and ask them whether school has observed anything and if they are willing to make a referral for assessment via NHS or contribute towards private assessment.

Thank you we will speak to school. We do have private healthcare with Bupa, a family policy, so we were thinking of making an online GP appointment with them as a starting point. Would it be worth speaking to school first do you mean?

Yes, it is worth speaking to the school before a referral.

If you are going down the insurance route, check what it covers. Not all cover ADHD assessments. Some that cover the assessment don’t necessarily fully cover ongoing private prescriptions and not all GPs will take on shared care.

I would raise your concerns with school. It may be worth the SENCO doing an observation and they can then assist with referrals if they see fit. Does your DD have any issues within school besides lateness?

She sounds very similar to my DD who has now received an ASD diagnosis. I flagged it with school around a similar age to your DD due to many similar struggles for years and my DD persistently being flagged as misbehaving but actually she was just really struggling.