What adjustments for 5 year old at school?

[Lilysun]

Hi all - hoping someone can help. My eldest DS is five years old and for some time we've suspected he has some kind of neurodiversity. He had an autism assessment in reception after waiting over a year, and the result from that assessment was that he 'doesn't meet the threshold'. So we're in a frustrating position where we know he has some additional needs, but don't have an official diagnosis to back it up or for it to be taken seriously. He is having difficulties at school - but because he's not a disruptive child and isn't exploding or causing issues, his needs are being brushed under the carpet.

I'm new to all this, but I want to advocate for my son. I want to ask mums with some experience, what reasonable adjustments or changes can I request the school to put in place? My son's challenges are:

-sensitive to bright lights and noisy environments

-can't concentrate in noisy environments or when there's lots going on

-difficulties with handwriting. He finds it hard to write in a straight line, sometimes writes letters and numbers backwards. Worse when its not quiet.

-emotional regulation - sometimes misunderstands or is hypersensitive to others behaviour and gets really sad as a result (he will bottle this up at school, sometimes cry, but come home and express it to us).

-He 'pokes' or repeatedly taps other children when he wants to be their friend but they don't reciprocate. This is obviously annoying to them.

-He moves his head back and forth when he's particularly tired or when there's a lot of background noise.

I don't want an overkill response because he'll just end up feeling isolated from his peers even more - but I want to know, what things at school helped your little ones with similar challenges?

Support in school is based on needs, not diagnosis. The school has a duty to make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN, whether he has a diagnosis or not.

Request a meeting with the SENCO. Some things that may help are ear defenders, looking at placement within the classroom (e.g. placing at the front so DS doesn’t have the visual distraction of loads on people in his sight line and not at the back of the class where DS can see everyone in front of him). If the lunch hall is too overwhelming, ask for somewhere quieter DS can eat. If the playground is too overwhelming, ask if they have a lunch club. Does the school have anyone who can support Zones of Regulation work and other emotional literacy work? Do they have a nurture group? Do they run a Lego therapy or a social skills group? Do they run a sensory circuits group? Would DS use sunglasses? What are DS’s motor skills other than handwriting like? Depending on exactly what you mean by struggling to write in a straight line, that isn’t uncommon at this point in Y1. Some still reverse numbers/letters sometimes too.

How is DS in the morning/at pick up? Would dropping off/picking up 5/10 mins early or late from a quieter entrance help?

Thank you, there are a lot of great suggestions here. School drop off and pick up is fine - gross motor is fine too. It’s just that he struggles to concentrate in noisy environments. And moves his head from side to side a lot when it’s too noisy, like stimming. They have noticed this a lot more when the children have been practicing for the nativity play recently. The loud speakers and bright stage lights have really thrown him.

The main thing is that he’s bright but in the lower sets because he can’t focus in the classroom as much, and can’t demonstrate his understanding through clear legible writing. I don’t know if all of this is pointing to potential autism or just some kind of sensory sensitivity.

What is DS like verbally? Has the school tried other forms of DS recording his work? At 5, not necessarily instead of writing completely, but to complement it and allow DS to show his ability in other ways. It would also allow an insight into whether DS’s are about getting things down on paper or something more.