Kent secondary for gentle, anxious autistic child

[perfectstorm]

I'm supporting a mum in Kent. Her child is gentle, compliant, very anxious. Dyslexic and working a couple of years behind NC expectations, but I think could do better with the right support. Cognition scores broadly average.

Mainstream is impossible for her and she is drowning. OT has found massive, massive sensory needs. She will thrive if it's a rural setting, especially, or with large grounds.

Can anyone think of or recommend schools - mainstream or state, but with classes of fewer than 15, tops - which can provide academic education adapted to a level she can access, which is good with dyslexia, and won't have a really challenging intake? She mustn't be in a setting with almost no female peers, either. Friends are important to her (though she's badly bullied, sadly, too).

Have a look at Ripplevale. Mixed reputation. Offers a range of qualifications from entry level 1 to A levels. Big on outdoor learning. Their Rochester site has about 60:40 boys:girls. Lots of possibilities for outdoor education/learning but it isn’t the most rural of schools.

Also Great Oaks Small School. More girls than boys. Another with a mixed reputation (like most SS, sadly).

There isn’t much for the compliant, anxious girl in Kent (or anywhere). Are they near enough to any of the neighbouring LAs?

Her mum doesn't yet understand how appalling SEN provision is - not just quality, but inadequacy of places. I have suggested that they're just under an hour from Limpsfield Grange and that may be the best bet, but she doesn't want her daughter to travel more than 30. Completely understand that - who does? - but I don't really think that is realistic, sadly. So no, I don't think she'll be open to neighbouring counties.

It's so tough to get your head around the idea that there just aren't the schools, when new to this as a parent.

Have you any experience/thoughts on LG?

Does the child already have an EHCP? Surely that would be essential for Limpsfield Grange?

Maybe a visit would reduce anxiety about the unknown?

I think it could be worth explaining to the mum that many, many secondary age DC (SEN or not) travel an hour or more to school in Kent and the surrounding areas.

We're in an adjoining London Borough and I travel an hour to my teaching job, DD travels an hour and some of her friends travel more than that to schools all over Kent/Bexley/Bromley/Southwark.

DD has an EHCP and has made friends with two of the other EHCP students who also commute by train.

In the right school this child will find other people who are like her.

Did the mum have negative school experiences herself?

LG is excellent for the right girl. It can work very well for the girl who can slot into their way of doing things. Sometimes it doesn’t work so well for the girl who needs a more individual approach/touch &/or with a PDA profile.

To give you an example, I wouldn’t put either of your 2 DC in LG even if DS was a girl. It wouldn’t suit any of mine either.